


Constellations Unknown.  Secrets Untold.

by Jane_Doe07



Category: Bellarke - Fandom, The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bellarke, Canon Compliant, Friendship, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Post Season 5, Romance, Season/Series 06, Slow Burn, Speculation, Worldbuilding, bellarke fanfiction, the 100 fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-07-18 03:23:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 32,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16109747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jane_Doe07/pseuds/Jane_Doe07
Summary: "I hope this place is what it seems," she whispered, almost to herself."Do you have a reason to think it's not?" he asked, equally quiet, both their eyes on the horizon."Well, the last group of strangers who took me in, gave me food and clothes and position, were literally out for my blood."Bellamy bit his lip at the morbid humor."Fair enough."Clarke turned her body to face him, "Julius seems great and the community has been so generous but...........I know, I know I need to relax and stop waiting for the other shoe to fall, and being so suspicious of everything and everyone, it's just...." her voice trailed off."Hard to switch off," Bellamy finished for her, grateful to know he wasn't the only one struggling.Clarke gave him a sad, half smile in response, that elusive smile that she gave only to him; not the joyous, teeth showing kind, but a genuine 'this all sucks but I'm glad you're here with me' smile.  He warmed at the sight of it.





	1. Veni

**Author's Note:**

> Bare with me on this first chapter guys, it took awhile to explain everything and find a groove. Sorry if it's a bit slow! This story is much more about the big picture plot wise than anything I've written before. I have NO damn idea what season 6 and the new planet will bring, but this is the story I've envisioned and I hope you all will enjoy it! Cannot WAIT to publish the next chapter!!! #bellarke

_I feel the sun on my face.  I see the trees all around me, the scent of flowers on a breeze.  It's so beautiful.  In this moment, I am no longer stranded in space._  
_It's been 125 years since we last saw Earth.  Fortunately, there were survivors.  412 souls escaped the last bomb that destroyed earth.  Enemies and friends, forged together by the desire to survive._  
_We were told Earth would never be survivable again.  So we found a new home, a new planet where we can finally live in peace.  That's the dream._

_But this is reality._

_And nothing is ever as it seems._

 

 

 

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me?" Clarke asked, zipping up her short black boots. 

Madi, who was sitting on Clarke's bed, picking at a pillow, shook her head. 

"Sounds like a boring grown up thing to me," she replied. 

Clarke chuckled but didn't push the issue.  Madi had been a bit quiet, and reserved since they arrived here.  If Madi wanted rest and space, she would give that to her.  Clarke stepped in front of the tall mirror that hung on their wall. 

"You look beautiful, Clarke," Madi told her, half admiration, half encouragement. 

"It's just the clothes," Clarke replied.  She brushed the smooth, luxurious fabric of the navy blue jumpsuit she'd chosen to wear.  It was sleeveless, with a scoop neckline that ruched in the middle.  The pant legs were loose, flowing with her as she moved.  It was the most lovely thing she had ever worn. 

They'd all been issued a large assortment of clothes, including dress attire for evenings such as these.  It had been a week since their arrival, and tonight, the city's council had decided to throw the group a 'welcome party.'  Although Clarke was still uncertain what exactly that meant, she had a hunch the evening would entail a plethora of introductions and socializing. 

She wished she could stay home with Madi. 

"Tell Bellamy and the others I said hi," the girl told her.  A knot of apprehension twisted in her stomach.  Bellamy she could handle being around, but the others still seemed a bit cold to her after everything that happened on earth.  So she dodged Madi's request, kissing her on the cheek instead. 

"I'll be home early," she told her, making her way to the apartment door. 

"At least try to have a good time, Clarke," Madi called to her. 

In her best mom voice, Clarke replied, "Goodnight, Madi," closing the door behind her. 

She walked quickly down the hallway, thinking back on how much of a whirlwind the past week had been, since landing on the planet the locals called, 'Asec.'

A week later and she was still trying to process everything.   Waking up after 125 year sleep was one thing.  Waking up to find your planet gone, good friends dead and your last hope of survival is an unknown planet, with unknown inhabitants..... is a bit much. 

Bellamy and Clarke had argued for hours after they awoke from cryo about how to proceed.  It was Jordan who had to interrupt them, playing a message from the planet below. 

" _Eligius 5, this is Eligius 3.  Please land at the listed co-ordinates.  Welcome to Asec_."

The text on the screen caused further confusion and discourse on what to do next.  Eventually, they planned their arrival, waking up a portion of their people to go down in the drop ship.  Raven and Diyoza staying on board to bring the others down when, or _if_   they thought it was safe.  And so far, it had been.  It seemed after learning of Earth's first demise, Eligius 3 had colonized the planet, creating a full and seemingly prosperous society. 

The planet itself was not entirely unlike Earth.  There were trees and grass and water.  But the leaves on the trees had an almost sparkling sheen to them, and the flowers were so bright, they were nearly neon in colour, growing far taller and larger than anything they'd seen on earth.  The air was denser, more humid, with a scent of forestry and fruit.  The two suns hovering in the sky were as magnificent as they were troublesome.  The extra radiation caused chaotic and sometimes extreme weather patterns.  Or at least that's what Julius-the council's chairman- had told them. 

When their selected group had landed the dropship, it was Julius who greeted them.  He was a tall, slim middle aged man, with salt and pepper hair, bright hazel eyes and a small birthmark at his right temple.    He came unarmed, which helped put Bellamy at ease at least.  Julius barely blinked at the new arrivals, seemingly unphased by their presence.  He wasted no time in introducing himself, and the other members of the city's council who were with him.  There were no soldiers or guards in their entourage, nor did they insist that Clarke and her friends disarm.  They appeared to be as non-threatening as strangers from another planet go.  They also did not appear to see them as a threat, which surprised Clarke more. 

Bellamy did the introductions, telling Julius only the bare necessities about who they were and how they got here.  Julius and the council nodded at Bellamy's explanations, some even looking sympathetic for their suffering.  Julius, in return gave a brief history of this new world, of how when the crew of Eligius 3 found out about the nuclear bombs that destroyed the planet the first time, they had made a choice to stay, to try and build a new home and a better way of living. 

When Julius asked if he could escort their group to the city, they were all hesitant.  But there was no legitimate reason to decline; Julius was asking, not demanding, and since her and her friends remained armed, the risk appeared minimal.  So they agreed.  Which elicited several smiles and a few cheers from the council members.  Clarke was too suspicious to appreciate their enthusiasm. 

When they reached the gates of the walled city, all Clarke and her friends could do was stand in awe. 

She thought of the wall they had built at the drop ship, all those years ago.  It was utterly pitiful compared to the structure before her.  Sparkling, crisscrossed metal stood 30 feet tall, looking more decorative than protective, but astonishing all the same. 

"The bars are mostly just for conduction," Julius explained, anticipating their skepticism, "Anyone can pass through them or over them at any time, unless-" he signaled to a woman by the gate, presumably a sentry.  She punched something into the tablet she was carrying.  In a second, the air around them shifted, becoming more dense, almost electrified.  There was a whoosh sound, then a gleam of light, rapidly spread across the wall. 

"What the-" Murphy mumbled, astonished.  Julius was all too happy to explain. 

"Think of it like an electric field, or fence, except this one repels wildlife, can withstand a hurricane, and even keep rising floodwaters out."

"Impressive," Echo said, staring at the wall. 

Julius' smile deepened.  We were their first visitors, the first to bare witness to all they had accomplished here.  He was proud of his city, and it showed. 

But his voice became more serious when he next spoke,

"I cannot conceive what you all had to go through to get here.  I can only hope that this next chapter of your journey is far easier to bare.  It is with our utmost pleasure, that we welcome you to your new home," the gates creaked open at his last words. 

It was impossible not to gape.  The picture before her was so vibrant, it could not have been real.  In some ways it reminded her of the City of Light; large silver buildings stood on every other block, all different shapes and sizes, people everywhere, going about their day.  There were bikes and modern looking rovers, and even a trolley whisked across the square, it's engine barely audible.  Technology encompassed the whole city, almost as if it was giving it a pulse.  But it wasn't grey or cold like the City of Light.  Here, wherever there was a piece of technology, or infrastructure, nature grew right along side it.  What looked like ivy, climbed even the tallest building, wildflowers blossomed everywhere, large trees shaded every curve in the walk way, gardens appeared in every nook and alley.  It felt as if the city had grown around nature, instead of the other way round.  It made Clarke both excited for her future here, and homesick for the Valley. 

The council members proceeded to guide them through the city, pointing and explaining as they walked them along the cobbled path.  They were all still a bit too stunned to be really absorbing any of it. 

Eventually, Julius stopped them at the city's hospital where they were told would be the first step in their orientation.  Tension hummed through the group, fearing for what lay within the hospital.  But one person did not hold the same emotional scars as the others. 

Jordan pushed past the group, coming to stand by the hospital's entrance.  He looked back at Clarke and Bellamy with innocent but courageous eyes.  Monty's eyes. 

"Well?" was all he asked. 

Clarke's eyes found Bellamy's.  She gave a small shrug,

"Do better, right?" she said, knowing he would understand, knowing Monty's last words would hover over their every move, their every choice. 

Bellamy nodded, stepping up beside Jordan and her. 

The three of them gave the others enough motivation to join them, entering the hospital together. 

As Clarke had hoped, there was little reason to worry.  They were all given physicals, vitamin injections and a few vaccines.  No implanted trackers, no A.Is.   Those who were not nightbloods, were given a serum to counteract the effects of radiation, until they chose to take the nightblood solution.  It was not often Clarke met new people who offered her choice and freewill.  It both surprised and impressed her.  As much as her caution simmered beneath the surface, Clarke had to admit how fortunate things were turning out so far.  These people had shown them not one ounce of insincerity, desire to overpower or control.  No, they had instead only been kind and generous and considerate.  She was grateful.  Vigilant, but grateful. 

After a shower and some new clothes, the group were directed to a mess hall for a meal.  Julius stopped Bellamy and Clarke before entering. 

"May I speak with the two of you for a moment?" He asked politely. Not waiting for their reply, Julius stepped down the hall, stopping at a nearby office door.  He opened it, and looked at them, somewhere between an invitation and a request.  They stepped into the room, both curious and concerned.  The far wall was entirely made of windows, displaying the garden outside.  In the center of the room, a beautifully carved wooden desk, with accompanying chairs.  Julius cleared his throat. 

"I am under the impression that the two of you are leaders of this group," he began, sitting himself at the desk, "That if there is something to discuss, it's you that I should discuss it with."

"What makes you think that?" Bellamy asked gruffly. 

Julius' mouth twitched. 

"You two seem the most worried," he explained, "Good leaders always are.  Plus your comrades seem to look to you for direction, which you gave them by entering the hospital.  Not something the others were too keen on, I think." 

"Don't take it personally," Clarke chimed in, keeping her face flat and unreadable as she sat across from Julius. 

He chuckled, "No, no, of course not.  This all must be incredibly overwhelming.  I'd be concerned if they _weren't_ suspicious of us." 

Julius was clearly intelligent and perceptive, quickly understanding the dynamics of their small group.  Could make for an excellent ally.... or a dangerous enemy. 

"Must be overwhelming for you as well," Bellamy said, leaning on the chair beside Clarke, "I'm sure you weren't expecting visitors.  Perhaps you're equally suspicious of us."

Julius' eyes crinkled at Bellamy's words. 

"More curious than suspicious," he retorted, "And I'd like to think of you all more as refugees than visitors."

"And why's that?" Clarke asked. 

Julius leaned forward, his elbows on the desk. 

"We all come from the same place.  These people here?  Their ancestors?  Earth was their home, and you, you all are the very last piece of it.  That's something to be cherished and taken care of."

"Or controlled," Clarke spat out.  Julius' hazel eyes narrowed at her remark, not in anger though, but in sympathy.  Perhaps even pity. 

"I'm sorry that your life has made you draw that parallel.  But I think you're both smart enough to see, that is not what's happening here."  His words _sounded_ genuine, at least.  And they couldn't argue with him either.  Besides perhaps an almost unconvincing amount of kindness, nothing had alerted Bellamy or Clarke's suspicions.  So for now, they both stayed silent, holding judgement. 

"You said you had something to discuss with us?"  Bellamy detracted. 

"Ahh, yes," Julius pulled out a tablet, swiping the screen as he spoke, "Just a few clarifications if you don't mind."

"Of course," Clarke replied, calmly. 

"I understand you have more crew still aboard Eligius 5?" Julius asked. 

"That's correct," Clarke answered, "412 people total."

"A portion of whom, are Eligius 5 prison workers, correct?" Julius asked, his voice unchanged, typing away at his tablet.

Clarke and Bellamy looked at each other, communicating their apprehension.  Julius looked up, noticing their pause.   

"We know how the Eligius company acquired the hithilonium, and who they coerced to harvested it.  It's not a proud part of our history, but we don't hide it," Julius explained. 

"What will happen to them?  The inmates?" Bellamy asked, taking a seat beside Clarke. 

Julius sat back in his chair, eyes focused on them now. 

"The conditions which many of those prisoners were forced to work in were appalling and inhumane.  We would like to make amends, where we can," Julius continued, "The council will consider and review each prisoner's record and decide on a case by case basis what to do with them.  Some will be given the same privileges you will have, however, those who are violent offenders, will more than likely be housed at our detention center." 

"You have a detention center?" Clarke asked. 

Julius shrugged, "It's small to be sure, but adequate.  Most offenders are given something similar to community service.  Only violent offenders are housed in the center." 

Clarke frowned, but couldn't bring herself to rebuttle.  The offer was fair.  With McCreary gone, the inmates were not nearly as animated, but if she was in Julius' position, she wouldn't take that chance either. 

She could feel Bellamy tensing beside her, uncomfortable with the idea of putting anyone back in prison.... but also uncomfortable with not doing so.  Clarke touched his arm gently, stopping any protest. 

"We would appreciate it if your council accepted testimony from ourselves and other members of our crew on behalf of any prisoner under review," she said, her voice steady.  She caught Bellamy's small and amused smirk from the corner of her eye.  She did know more than one way to be _diplomatic._ It was good to remind him of that. 

Julius smiled again, "An excellent idea."

"When can we give the others instructions to land?"  Bellamy asked. 

"Whenever you wish!" Julius replied, happily, "Asec has more than enough room for you all.  In fact we've just completed work on a dormitory complex that should suit your needs.  I'll take you all there myself after everyone finishes their meal."

Clarke suddenly felt a wave of shame wash over her. 

"We have yet to thank you, for all of this," she said sheepishly.

Julius' smile fell.

"Please, don't," he said, "This is a situation neither of us have prepared for.  The difficulties, I suspect are far from over.  I know that you haven't made your mind up about us- nor have we about you- but I do wish to ask something of the both of you.  Despite your suspicions or reservations. 

"That is?"  Clarke asked, unknowingly on the edge of her seat. 

"This is a peaceful, giving community.  We prioritize the health and happiness of not just our citizens, but of this planet.  It's taken the better part of a century to cultivate what we have here.  Although we sincerely welcome you, we expect that peace to be maintained.  The only way I can think of ensuring that is through honesty.  Whether it concerns your people, or mine, if there is something or someone I should be concerned about, I need to know.  It's the only way I'll be able to help, and I do truly wish to help you all."

"Why?" Bellamy questioned, crossing his arms over his chest,  "Why bother with us at all?  Why not just dump us on the opposite side of the planet and let us fend for ourselves?"  Bellamy asked, impassioned.  Clarke dropped her head.  Sadly, that prospect wouldn't have been the first time for some of them. 

Julius stood from behind his desk, his tall form shrinking the room. 

"Please don't misunderstand me, Mr. Blake.  This is not a utopia, and we are not all paragons of morality and goodness.  But a society that turns away someone in need, is not the kind of society we have been building here.  Humanity's history may be riddled with darkness, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive for the light."

Clarke placed her hand on Bellamy's knee beside her as their eyes met. 

"Do better," he almost whispered, repeating her words form earlier, echoing Monty's hopes for them all. 

As Bellamy's hand found hers, Clarke's walls of cynicism and fear began to falter.  It was a blank slate, a future they could write however they wished.  It was a gift, and as she looked at Bellamy, it was a gift she sure as hell wasn't going to waste. 

 

 

Clarke shook herself of the week's fleeting memories, as she had arrived at the entrance to the ballroom where tonight's event was taking place.  Among other things, tonight would be a test of her endurance.  She took a final breath before pushing the door before her, entering the world of shimmering strangers. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

As chatter and music filled the room, Bellamy's eyes drifted.  It didn't take long to find her. 

They hadn't come in together, the rest of their group not wanting to wait for her.  But here she was now, and even in the softly lit room, she was easy to recognize.  Her yellow hair and ocean blue eyes stood out amongst any crowd, even one as large and lavish as this one.  She held her head high, nodding to people as she passed, all poise and confidence, but Bellamy could see through it and he knew she was nervous, and uncomfortable.  Like he was. 

Their new hosts had been generous, gifting them clothes far superior than any he'd had before.  His friends and other members of Eligius 5 had indulged in that generosity, wearing the most extravagant articles they were given.  But Clarke's outfit was understated.  Which made her stand out all the more.  The simple jumpsuit clung to her curves effortlessly and Bellamy had to resist the urge to glare as he spotted several men and women staring after her. 

But no one approached her.  Instead her eyes floated across the room as she took a glass of champagne from a server.  To anyone else, she was simply admiring the room, mingling, but he knew she was observing and studying their new neighbors, just as he had done when he had first entered,  Bellamy chuckled to himself as he watched Clarke's nose wrinkle in reaction to the fizzy beverage. 

"Bellamy?"  Echo's voice beside him snapped his attention back to his group. 

"Sorry, what?" Bellamy replied.  

"You didn't hear what I said," she said, not a question.  Hoping the dim lighting hid his blush, Bellamy shook his head. 

"Sorry, I uhh...." he let the sentence hang, not wanting to tell her what it was that had distracted him... or whom. 

Echo frowned but repeated herself. 

"I said, Julius wants to meet with us all tomorrow."

"Did he say why?" Bellamy asked. 

Murphy chimed in then, gulping down his third glass of whiskey. 

"About our new positions in his grand paradise.  Apparently, we are going to become productive members of society."

Emori, draped in purple silk, elbowed him lightly in the ribs, "Even cockroaches need something to do, John."

Bellamy smirked at the two of them. 

The conversation picked back up, growing around him, but Bellamy focused back on finding the blonde in blue. 

He spotted her, as she made her way to the open balcony on the other side of the room.  Still alone.  She had to have seen them all standing there, but still she chose not to approach.  There was still some tension between some of them, but she was Clarke, and seeing her by herself because she didn't feel welcome twisted something inside him.  He turned to his friends,

"I'll be right back," he half muttered before turning towards the center of the crowd.  He thought he heard his name being called behind him and he definitely felt more than one pair of eyes on his back.  He would explain later.  He needed to talk to Clarke anyway and it was better if they were alone. 

She was leaning against the balcony railing, staring off into the distance of their new planet.  Although the suns had just set, their warmth lingered. 

"Still haven't decided if it's better or worse than Monty's moonshine," he said, coming up beside her. 

Clarke turned her head to him, but not in surprise.  He was sure she knew he was there before he said a word.  She smirked,

"Worse," she said, taking another sip and making a face, "definitely worse."

They both chuckled softly.  Bellamy rested his elbows on the railing. 

"Julius wants to meet with everyone tomorrow," he told her. 

"Oh?"

He nodded, "Wants to talk about what our roles and occupations will be in Asec."

"Does he now," Clarke replied. She turned to look at him, "And what role will Bellamy Blake be choosing in this new world," she gestured to the vastness before them, looking at him with genuine but playful curiosity. 

Bellamy sigh and took the champagne glass from her hand,

"No damn idea," he said before drinking the rest of the glass' contents. 

Clarke's lips twitched in amusement before she continued. 

"What were you going to be on the Ark?"

"I _was_ a cadet," he replied, "And then a janitor." 

"Ahh," she said, biting her lip in an attempt to contain whatever mockery she had of his former profession. 

"And you?" he asked, nudging her shoulder with his own, "Will I be standing next to _Dr. Griffin_ before long?"

Clarke shrugged, her eyes dropping to her feet. 

"If I was still on the Ark, I probably would be."

"Well I'd say you're pretty good at it," he told her encouragingly. 

She looked up at him, humor gone. 

"And you're pretty good with a gun," she said, "Doesn't mean it would be your first choice."

Bellamy paused, then nodded slowly in understanding.  The path both their skills had brought them down, and how they had been forced to use those skills, were not something either of them wished to repeat. 

They stood quietly, watching the sky begin to freckle with stars; unknown constellations sparkling above.  Beside him, Clarke stirred. 

"I hope this place is what it seems," she whispered, almost to herself. 

"Do you have a reason to think it's not?" he asked, equally quiet, both their eyes on the horizon. 

"Well, the last group of strangers who took me in, gave me food and clothes and position, were literally out for my blood."

Bellamy bit his lip at the morbid humor. 

"Fair enough."

Clarke turned her body to face him, "Julius seems great and the community has been so generous but...........I know, I _know_ I need to relax and stop waiting for the other shoe to fall, and being so suspicious of everything and everyone, it's just...." her voice trailed off. 

"Hard to switch off," Bellamy finished for her, grateful to know he wasn't the only one struggling. 

Clarke gave him a sad, half smile in response, that elusive smile that she gave only to him; not the joyous, teeth showing kind, but a genuine 'this all sucks but I'm glad you're here with me' smile.  He warmed at the sight of it. 

Remembering what it was he had to tell her though, Bellamy shifted his weight in unease. 

"Well, I have to tell you something that unfortunately, won't make you feel any better," he told her. 

Clarke sigh, "I knew I should've grabbed another glass of champagne."

Bellamy looked at her with sympathy. 

"Madi's nightmares are back."

"What!?" Clarke stiffened, eyes wide. 

"Easy," he told her, his hand brushing her arm as he looked around. 

Clarke forced herself to relax, if only a fraction, as she understood his concern.  Despite Julius' charm and the enticing possibility of living a peaceful life here, Julius was right about what he told them the first day they arrived.  Their difficulties were not over, and neither side trusted the other.  Not yet anyway.  The little they did know about this place, Clarke and Bellamy knew they were being watched.  Whether by curious citizens or something more concerning, it didn't matter.  They had to proceed with caution, especially in regards to a young girl with an enhanced A.I in her brain. 

"When did she tell you?" Clarke asked him, her voice purposefully quiet. 

"Two days ago.  She said they got worse once we arrived," he said. 

Clarke closed her eyes, her fists clenching. 

"She told me they had stopped.  I shouldn't have believed her, dammit."

"Well she wouldn't tell me the details, she just said she gets flashes, she said they felt different than the others, not like the memories......she said they felt like a warning," he explained, feeling the knot in his stomach twist. 

 "You're right.  That doesn't make me feel any better."

Bellamy watched Clarke as her eyes narrowed in worry and her body tensed.  He knew very well that visions from the commanders, from the flame were not to be taken lightly.  This planet was their last hope.  There was no more plan B.  But If the visions truly were a warning, they had to be listened to. 

"What will you do?" he finally asked. 

Clarke rolled her shoulders in an attempt to gather herself. 

"For starters, I'm going to go talk to Madi."

Bellamy nodded in understanding.

"You won't say anything, will you?" Clarke's eyes pleaded with him. 

Bellamy shook his head, reassuring her.

"Of course not," he told her. 

She smiled in thanks.    

"I'll see you tomorrow then" said wearily before turning to leave. 

"Clarke," he called back to her softly.  Blue eyes turned to him. 

"I...I'm sorry that had to happen," he swallowed, "Madi, taking the flame."

Bellamy forced himself to hold her gaze, trying to convey what he felt.  Not regret exactly, but sorrow for the position he'd been put in, and the position his choice put her in.  For several moments, Clarke didn't move or speak, just looked at him.  Finally she inhaled deeply,

"It was the only choice, wasn't it."

He looked away from her then, unable to look at her and not think about the last time she said those words to him. 

"I'm sorry too," her voice whispered.

"I know," he said quickly, like a reflex.  Because that's what forgiveness was for them- a reflex.  An involuntary reaction they could almost never control.  Behind the anger and the hurt, there was always forgiveness.  Whether they felt like they deserved it or not. 

A warm hand gently wrapped around his wrist. 

"Goodnight, Bellamy," she said, giving his wrist a small, encouraging squeeze before walking back towards the hall.  He watched her go, trying to ignore the intense desire to follow. 

"Where is she going?" a low voice made Bellamy spin around to find Echo, standing at another entrance to the balcony. 

Bellamy flushed. 

"Probably going to go check on Madi," he replied, gathering himself. 

"She didn't join us earlier," Echo said as she walked up to him. 

He shrugged, "I don't think she's feeling very welcome these days."

"She shouldn't," Echo snapped, "She almost got you killed."

"Yeah and then she saved our asses by killing McCreary," Bellamy replied without hesitation. 

"Bellamy-"

"Hey," he said, softening, pulling her to him, ignoring the knot in his stomach when he did, "If I can forgive her, so can you."

Echo frowned but remained silent. 

"Come on," he gestured inside, "Let's go back in."

Echo let him lead her as they made their way back to their friends and the celebration.  The rest of the night, Bellamy had on eye trained on the crowd, watching for Clarke to reappear.  But she never returned.  He shouldn't have expected her too, her and Madi had a lot to discuss.  He itched to be there, to be a part of that conversation, to learn more about Madi's dreams and to be there for them both when the information inevitably upset someone.  Just to be there. 

The champagne and the noise eventually gave him a headache, prompting an early departure to his newly assigned apartment.  On the ring, Bellamy and Echo had eventually shared a room, but here, on Asec, everyone was assigned their own apartment unless they were married or family.  It made the already too big room feel even more empty.  But as he laid in his bed, waiting for sleep, it wasn't Echo he wanted to fill the emptiness with.  And that realization made him angry at himself.  He was with Echo, he loved Echo, he should not be thinking about anyone other than her. 

And yet.....

Six years ago- or rather, 131 years ago- Bellamy had almost allowed himself to think it was possible, that if they could just get to the ring, that if the fighting could finally end, Clarke and him would at last have the time and opportunity to figure out what it was between them.  He knew it was more than friendship or partnership, but he'd been too scared to think just how much more. 

But she never made it back.  For six years, he lived thinking that she'd died, and all the possibilities had died with her.  Now though, here on this planet as vibrant as she was, it was difficult to think of anything but possibilities when he looked at her.  When he caught her looking at him. 

He almost wished Madi hadn't told him about the radio calls, that he could scrub it from his memory so the thought would stop eating at him.  He wanted so badly to talk to her about it, ask her why she called him, why she hadn't told him, what it all meant....if anything.  But any answer terrified him, which led Bellamy right back at being angry at himself- this time for being a coward. 

This emotionally draining circle of thoughts ran through his mind until eventually, sleep took pity on him and carried him away, into a dreamless, lonely sleep. 

 

* * *

 

 Clarke closed the door to her apartment behind her. 

"I know you said you'd be home early, but I think this is a bit extreme," Madi voiced from the couch, a book in her hands. 

Clarke stayed silent, unsure on how she should proceed.  she leaned back against the cold door.  Several moments passed before Madi sat up and sighed. 

"He told you, didn't he," she said. 

Clarke rolled her eyes. 

"Of course he told me, you really thought he wouldn't?"

Madi pouted like the 12 year old she was. 

"I thought he'd understand _why_ I didn't want you to know," Madi said, crossing her arms. 

Clarke moved off the door, making her way towards the girl. 

"Madi, even I understand why you wouldn't want me to know," Clarke took a seat beside her before continuing, "But if we're going to do this, if you want to keep the flame, then we need to trust each other and be honest with each other."

Madi anxiously looked up at her guardian.

"And you'll promise to not freak out?"

Clarke sighed, "I am always going to want to protect you, Madi, and that means I will never be comfortable with you having the flame.  But," Clarke wrapped her arm around Madi's shoulder, "I promise I won't ask you or make you remove it.  Not unless you want to."

Madi gave Clarke a weak but genuine smile in response. 

"Now you have to promise me you'll stop keeping things from me, even if you're trying to protect me.  I can take it, Madi, and if you'll let me, I'd like to help," Clarke told her softly. 

Madi looked down at her feet. 

"I know this is what I am supposed to be, that the flame was meant for me to take, but....."she paused before saying quietly, "I hate disappointing you."

Clarke shook her head, grabbing both of Madi's shoulders.

"Madi, look at me," she told her, "Not.  Possible.  Do you hear me?  Not. Possible."

The soft smile returned to Madi's face and Clarke pulled her in to her arms, emphasizing her point.  She hugged her daughter fiercely, wishing she could explain just how important Madi's existence was to Clarke.  When Madi's arms wrapped around her, she gave an internal sigh of relief.  Clarke hadn't lost her to the flame, she was still here, still her Madi.

Eventually, Clarke pulled back. 

"Now, will you tell me about these nightmares?" 

 

* * *

 

 "Welcome, friends," Julius greeted them with a smile, "Thank you all so much for joining me this morning.  I do hope everyone enjoyed themselves last night."

He gestured to the many seat in his spacious, window filled office.

"Please, have a seat."

The small group Julius had asked to see first, made their way into the Chairman's office.  Bellamy took the opportunity and pulled Clarke to the side. 

"What did Madi say?" He asked at a whisper. 

Clarke just shook her head,

"Not here," she said, leaving him to take a seat by Murphy and Emori.  Bellamy frowned but did the same, taking his place beside Echo, who's eyes danced between him and Clarke.

 _That'll be a fun conversation later_.  Bellamy thought.  Julius sat behind his desk, all smiles. 

"Now that the remainder of your people have arrived and settled, I thought we might discuss your next step in Asec," he said cheerily, almost bursting with excitement. 

The others looked amongst themselves, unsure.  It was Raven who spoke up first. 

"What exactly do you mean by 'next step'," she asked. 

Julius linked his hands together, appearing ever the instructor. 

"Being a citizen of Asec means more than just residing here.  It means having a position in the community," he explained," Whatever occupation or placement you desire, we will provide any training or education."

He looked at Raven and smiled,

"If necessary of course.  I believe some of you possess skills _we_ could benefit learning from."

Bellamy smirked.  He couldn't help but at once be proud of Raven, and impressed by Julius' diplomacy. 

"So, school," Murphy chimed in, unenthused, "You're talking about us going back to school?" 

Julius nodded slightly. 

"For some positions, yes, some school may be needed.  For others, on site training would be sufficient."

Murphy mumbled, "I was never good at school."

Emori elbowed him.

"At least you had school at all," she countered. 

"Please," Julius raised his hands, "For some of you, I understand this transition may take some time.  I want to assure you, there is no timetable here, no pressure.  I simply wish to offer you any opportunities I can.  It is at your discretion when they should be taken."

Bellamy's shoulders relaxed.  He could feel the tension in the room begin to melt away.  None of them had had a 'normal' upbringing, and a week ago, none of them were thinking about accomplishing anything more in their lives besides surviving.  For many of those from Wonkru, there was no telling when they'd be ready to function normally in a society like this one.  Octavia included.  So Julius' words allowed many of them to breath a sigh of relief. 

"Thank you, Chairman," Clarke's voice rang out, "We appreciate that."

"Call me Julius, please," he told her, giving her a warm smile, "And Clarke, your mother has been working diligently at our hospital.  She is a very welcome addition.  She mentioned that you would be inclined to join her?  Is that correct?"

Bellamy watched Clarke as her back straightened just a fraction.  He thought back on their conversation last night, about the paths they had taken versus the paths they'd wish to take. 

"I-" Clarke cleared her throat before continuing, "I haven't quite decided yet."

Bellamy could tell she was nervous to admit it aloud, for no other reason than by doing so, she'd made it real.  She smiled politely at Julius.  Bellamy wished she'd turn and look at him, so he could see her face, know how uncomfortable she really was. 

"Of course," Julius replied, then addressed the whole group, "Please, take as much time as you need.  I've given you all access to information on all the positions and education available to you.  I encourage you all to take a look and please, do not hesitate to ask any questions."

He really was almost disturbingly nice. 

With the meeting coming to a close, the group rose to leave. 

"Umm, I have a question," Jordan's cheery voice came out from the back.  Everyone turned to look as Jordan slowly lowered his raised hand. 

"Yes, Jordan?" Julius replied. 

Jordan cleared his throat as if prepared for a speech.  Bellamy bit his lip to halt the chuckle threatening in his throat. 

"Uhhh, Wh-what does Asec mean?"  Jordan asked. 

Bellamy frowned, realizing he didn't know the answer either. 

"Ahh," Julius smiled at the young man, "Asec is just a shorthand for what the first people who travelled here called it.  It's original name is a bit of a mouthful, you see." 

Julius chucked at his own words, but Bellamy noted the very subtle stiffness in the Chairman's demeanor. 

"What is it shorthand for?"  Echo ask, curious too now. 

Julius smiled, a bit too wide. 

"Aurora Secundi."

Latin.  A chill ran down Bellamy's spin and his eyes flew to Clarke, who's eyes latched on to his. 

 

Aurora Secundi. 

 

 

 _Second Dawn._  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Vidi pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long guys!!!! But I made it a little longer to make up for the wait :). SOO much is happening in this chapter. Hope you all enjoy!!!

Clarke paced the living room of Bellamy's apartment. 

"Two suns, two fucking suns, Bellamy and we didn't put it together," she spat out, frantically. 

After the meeting, Bellamy and Clarke had quickly and tactlessly excused themselves, not explaining to the others, who remained unaware of this new revelation regarding their hosts. 

Bellamy sat in a chair by the window, his own anxiety apparent as he repeatedly ran his hands over his face. 

"Let's try not to jump to any conclusions.  We don't even know if this is a bad thing," he argued, "The Second Dawn bunker did save a lot of people, Clarke." 

Clarke stopped pacing, realizing she hadn't told him.  Of course she hadn't, they'd barely had a real, honest conversation since he landed back on earth, 131 years ago."

"Actually," she said, ominously," We do know."

Bellamy cocked his head, rising from the chair and made his way to stand in front of her. 

"Clarke," he said, half concern, half frustration, "What is it?"

She starred into his chest, wondering if she'd ever seen Bellamy in a white shirt- a clean white shirt- before today.  She took a deep breath and raised her eyes to meet his. 

"Before we left earth, after we.... ** _I_**..., " she corrected herself, taking ownership of her actions.  She swallowed her guilt and continued, "After **_I_** left you in Polis, Madi had a vision from the commanders," her heart raced telling him, remembering just how scared and shaken Madi had been, "They showed her how Becca Praimheda died." 

Bellamy's chest rose and fell as he took a step closer to her, eyeing her intently. 

"And how did she die?" 

Clarke swallowed, the words haunting her before she even spoke them. 

"She was burned at the stake by Caddogen and the rest of Second Dawn." 

Bellamy's face paled.  He stepped back, reeling from the implications of what she'd just told him. 

"Jesus," he murmured, his back finally hitting the wall. 

Clarke rung her hands, watching him process.  At least he would understand her concern now. 

After a moment though, the fog of disbelief lifted and his eyes sharpened, narrowing on Clarke. 

"And you didn't think this was important enough to tell me!?" his voice raised in outrage. 

Clarke glared back at him, unwilling to capitulate to his anger. 

"You mean tell you _after_ you encouraged my daughter to take the flame and become the Commander while I was in chains, but _before_ we were running for our lives to escape a dying planet.... right??" 

Bellamy's eyes instantly softened, pushing off the wall towards her.

"Clarke, I-"

She raised her hands, stopping him, frustrated at both Bellamy and her own defensiveness. 

"I _know_ ," she told him, "I know.  I'm sorry.  Let's just....let's just try and figure out what the hell we do next."

Bellamy sighed and leaned back against the wall, and Clarke went back to pacing across his living room floor.  Both silent in thought. 

"Last night, did Madi tell you anything when you talked to her about her nightmares?  Anything that could help??"  Bellamy asked. 

Clarke shook her head, "She didn't recognize the people in the visions.  She just knew they were important, and that it felt like the visions were getting stronger, more vivid, like the reception had been turned up." 

Bellamy frowned, his eyes falling back to the ground as he thought.  Clarke watched him, grateful she didn't have to deal with this on her own, that they both recognized the name, _Aurora Secundi_ , and knew it wasn't a coincidence. 

A thought flickered then. 

"Does anyone else know?" Clarke asked Bellamy, "About the connection between the Second Dawn, Caddogen and the bunker?" 

Bellamy cracked his knuckles, trying to think, "Kane, Monty and Jaha were all there when they found the bunker, but...." his voice trailing off.  For a moment, sadness clung to the room.  Kane was still in a coma, under the watchful care of Abby, but Jaha and Monty were both gone.  Lost like so many others. 

Bellamy's head snapped up. 

"Gaia!" he said, "Gaia was there," he turned to Clarke, "We need to talk to her.  She knows about Becca and Second Dawn, and she's helped Madi focus on her visions before, I've seen it." 

Tiny pricks of fear crawled across Clarke's skin, but she pushed past them. 

"You think Madi's visions can help us?" Clarke asked. 

Bellamy shrugged, earnestly, "I know they have before.  Why would now be any different?" 

It was a start, Clarke thought.  A good start.  But the idea of using Madi, of pushing her to relive nightmares that would forever weigh on her, made Clarke's stomach twist. 

Suddenly, she felt hot, like the room and the situation was suffocating her, closing in on her and whatever semblance of happiness she had made for herself.  Clarke grabbed her long discarded coat and made for the apartment's door. 

It took a second, maybe two before Bellamy was at her elbow, turning her back to him. 

"Clarke, what are you doing??"  His eyes full of confusion and maybe worry.  Clarke pulled her arm out of his light hold to put on her jacket. 

"It's a good idea, Bellamy.  Go to Gaia, see if she'd be willing to talk with Madi.  Just don't do anything else till I get back," she told him, her mind half out the door already. 

"No," Bellamy's low voice called out, immediately making Clarke pause, her attention back to him.

"No?"

Bellamy crossed his arms over his chest, his jaw tightened. 

"Not until you tell me where you're going," he said, his eyes darkened with too many clouded emotions, Clarke couldn't place them. 

She zipped up her jacket, stalling for a moment. 

"Bellamy, I just...." she sighed, too tired to tell him anything other than the truth, "I need some time to think.  This is all a lot and it's Madi, and last time......... I just need to clear my head.  We need- **_I_ ** need to get this right," she finished, hoping to convey in so few words how she felt.  The last time the flame put Madi in danger, Clarke made many wrong choices.  Now, here, on a planet named after the cult that killed the first Commander, Madi was in the crosshairs once again.  Clarke didn't want to repeat the mistakes of her past.  She needed time alone to gather herself, to turn down her protective instincts that were going haywire so she could think clearly. 

Bellamy watched her but said nothing.  Clarke swallowed, hoping his silence was not rejection. 

"You'll keep an eye on her for me this afternoon?" She asked gently, her eyes pleading.  Bellamy dropped his head, eyes to the floor. 

"How long will you be gone?"  Bellamy asked with quiet frustration.  He wasn't stopping her though, so that had to count for something.  And she was trusting him again with Madi, that had to count for something too.  _Right?_

"Not long," was all she said. 

Bellamy clearly was restraining himself from saying something, but instead, he glared at the floor and gave his head a small nod in response. 

"Thank you," Clarke told him, reaching to touch his arm in gratitude but stopped herself halfway, unsure if her touch would be welcomed or resented.  She made for the door a second time, swinging it open and walking out, leaving Bellamy to think of her what he would. 

She hadn't said no, in fact, Clarke thought getting Gaia's help was a good idea, and she knew Madi would be more than willing to help.  But that was the problem.  Clarke needed to think about how she wanted to be there for her daughter, as a mother and a leader.  Madi's visions could give them answers, insight, but it would tear Clarke apart to see Madi being used or hurt.  Nothing was easy about this situation. 

She flew down the dorm's corridors, eager for fresh air.  Clarke passed through the lobby doors and felt the suns' warming rays.  She took a deep breath in, trying to push away all the anxiety looming in her.  Clarke looked across the square, watching and listening as the sounds and scenes of the city washed over her.  

It wasn't helping.  As beautiful and peaceful as the city appeared to be, all Clarke saw was unknown enemies, watching and waiting in silence.  All she saw was another place that threatened her loved ones. 

Then her eyes caught the gleam of the metal gates. 

 _There._   She thought, her feet moved beneath her, her heart began to race, trying to keep up with her steps.  Julius had said anyone could come and go as they pleased.  It was time to test that.  Clarke bore down on the gates, focused on nothing else.  Which is why she didn't see him coming. 

"Clarke!" Jordan leapt in front of her, causing her to nearly trip over herself as to not run him over. 

"Jesus, Jordan," she muttered, catching her breath, "Where did you come from?"

Jordan just smiled and gestured all around him. 

"I was just walking around," he explained, "Enjoying this beautiful day." 

Normally Jordan's enthusiasm was endearing.  At the moment......less so.  Clarke grumbled a non verbal reply. 

The happy man before her continued,

"Anyway, I was just going for a walk, and I saw you walking so I figured maybe we could walk together?" He asked, all sweetness. 

Damn.  Clarke thought to herself.  She didn't want to say no to Jordan, but she needed some time to herself.  She cleared her throat. 

"I'm so sorry, Jordan, I was actually just headed outside the gates.  I wanted to get a feel for the wilderness here," she started walking again, away form him, "Next time though, okay?" 

But Jordan didn't miss a beat, his eyes popped with curiosity and excitement. 

"Even better!" he exclaimed, walking in step with her.  Clarke sighed, but as Jordan had spent his whole life in space, she didn't have the heart to deny him. 

"Okay then," she said, giving him a small smile. 

Jordan seemed satisfied with that and allowed Clarke some silence until they approached the gate.  The sentry, who was unarmed -like everyone else here- turned to face them, a look of interest in her eyes. 

"Good morning," the sentry greeted them. 

"Good morning!"  Jordan all too eagerly repeated. 

Clarke on the other hand, was done with the pleasantries.

"We'd like to take a walk outside the city," she told the sentry, keeping her voice firm. 

But the woman simply smiled and nodded. 

"First time outside the gates I take it?" she asked, punching something into her tablet. 

"I was told it wouldn't be a problem," Clarke replied, a bit too sharply, testing Julius words.    The sentry chuckled and looked up. 

"Of course not," she assured them, signally to the other guard who moved as the gates opened, "We just document who comes and goes and when." 

Clarke frowned.  She was prepared for an argument, but it seemed Julius' words held true......for now. 

The sentry continued, walking them to the entrance,

"The gates are locked at suns down, so be sure to be back here by then, and try not to venture more than a mile or two out, the forest gets pretty dense after that." 

Clarke stopped just at the threshold and looked at the woman. 

"That's it?" She asked, a little dumbfounded still.  The red headed woman just smiled at them. 

"Enjoy your walk Ms. Griffin, Mr. Green," she said, of course knowing who they were. 

Jordan practically skipped passed the gates in excitement, his eyes constantly moving from one object to the next.  Clarke remembered what her first real steps on earth had been like; thrilling, mesmerizing, beautiful.  But then, like now, the moment passed quickly as Clarke had more serious matters to concern herself with than the local flora.  She heard the metal creak of the gates closing behind them, felt the shudder as they locked in place.  With a deep breath, Clarke made her way forward, catching up with Jordan, who had stopped to smell a flower because of course he had. 

A large dirt path wrapped around the city walls, seemingly for transport vehicles.  Several small paths extended from the main, snaking their way to the tree line which stood 100 or so yards away.  Clarke picked one at random, uncaring where it led as long as it took her away from the confides of the city.  Jordan was hard on her heels as Clarke marched down the path. 

"Was earth like this?" Jordan asked, "Was it as green?  Or was it very different?"

Clarke frowned.

"Monty and Harper never told you about earth?" she asked, stepping over a fallen branch. 

"They told me everything about earth, but I sometimes wondered if they were making some of it up," he told Clarke, shrugging, "Like maybe they needed a more compelling bedtime story." 

Clarke let out a small, genuine laugh at that.  Picturing her friends putting Jordan to bed with tales of two headed deer, warring royals, and magical blood. 

"Trust me, Jordan, there wasn't much to exaggerate," she told him.  

He smiled, keeping his eyes on the twisting path. 

"I wish they were here to see all of this," he told her, more lighthearted than he probably felt, "Dad would be having a field day with these plants." Jordan reached out to stroke a large, orange leaf as he walked past. 

Clarke looked at him and without hesitation said,

"They got to see their son, happy and healthy and safe," she told him, "Nothing is more important or beautiful to a parent than that.  I promise you, Jordan." 

Jordan gave her a look of gratitude before dropping his eyes back to the ground.  They continued down the path in companionable silence.  Clarke breathed in the air and the trees around her, letting her lungs burn just a little from the air and exertion.  She thought about her two lost friends, about the man they raised and the choices they made.  Monty and Harper sacrificed their lives to find their son a future.  It's not that Clarke wasn't willing to do the same for Madi, of course she was, but it was how Monty and Harper did so that gave her pause.  She couldn't imagine leaving Madi to an unknown future.  Which was clearly the point.  Clarke wanted to hold on to Madi, which seemed to resulted in holding her back, whereas Monty and Harper had let go, trusting in their son, their plan and their friends that he would be safe.  It was a lesson that for whatever reason, had not clicked until this moment.  Clarke could do whatever she could to keep Madi as safe and happy as possible, but ultimately, it was the young woman's life, filled with choices that were rightfully hers to make.  And like Jordan, Madi was not alone, she was surrounded by people who both believed in the Commander, but also simply believed in her.  Madi deserved a guardian, a mother, that wasn't just willing to kill or be killed for her, but also willing to not stand in the way of her daughter achieving her own agency. 

Clarke didn't know exactly how she was going to accomplish this balancing act of parenting, but, as she watched Jordan smile up at the two suns over head, she knew it was possible. 

They came to the summit of a small hill, where a beautiful, fast moving river ran beside.  They both stopped, taking in the scenery. 

"I'm grateful, you know," Clarke started, her voice hushed for no reason, "As much as I want them here, I'm so grateful, Jordan that your parents were able to find a bit of peace and happiness.  They were two of the best people I've ever known.  They deserved it, and so much more." 

A warm hand rested on her shoulder, neither one of them daring to look at each other, knowing the tears it would result in. 

"Thanks, Clarke," Jordan replied, his voice just a little hoarse. 

And just like that, Clarke thanked the universe for putting Jordan in her path this morning.  So few times in her life had she been able to grieve for her dead, for those she had loved and lost.  But today, with his company and presence, Clarke was not only given a moment to grieve, but also a moment to reflect on her friends' memories, and learn once more from them.

The sound of moving water filled their silence.  A moment of tranquility. 

A curious thought came to Clarke, a thought she would normally not ever think of asking about, but here, today with Jordan, she felt just a little more free, as if she had climbed the walls she kept around herself.  For once. 

Clarke turned to Jordan,

"Can I ask you something?" 

He gave her a warm half smile, "Name it," 

Clarke inhaled, "Why did your parents want you to wake Bellamy and I up first?  On Eligius?" 

Jordan looked out across the river. 

"You know, after years of listening to stories about the two of you, I didn't really need to ask them that," he told her.  He took a deep breath in, turned back to Clarke and smiled, "But as it happens, they did tell me." 

Clarke couldn't help her forehead from wrinkling in confusion.  Thankfully, Jordan continued without being prompted. 

"Before I went into cryosleep, they told me that if you and Bellamy cared about me and protected me, half as much as you've done for each other, then I could not be in better hands." 

Clarke felt the blush spread across her cheek, she looked down, unable to hold Jordan's knowing gaze.  A small chuckle came from her companion. 

"Guess they didn't have to exaggerate about that, either," he said. 

Clarke gathered her courage, and met Jordan's eyes, "A century ago, maybe." 

Jordan laughed at that.  But Clarke could only give a half smile.  It might have felt like just days to the rest of them, but the distance between her and Bellamy truly had felt like a century; the baggage building between them, one apocalypse after the other.  Even now, as they tried to work together and trust each other, Clarke didn't truly know where she stood with him.  Monty and Harper seemed to think they could still work as a team, That gave Clarke a little bit of hope. 

Jordan exhaled, "So, where to now?" 

Clarke paused for a moment to think, before something danced in her peripheral.  She stilled, her eyes coming into focus on the small red dot grazing across Jordan's chest. 

"Jordan, LOOK OUT!" She yelled before throwing herself at him, tossing them both to the ground as the snap of a gunshot went off above them.  She couldn't tell which direction the shot had come from.  Jordan, beneath her, began to shake. 

"Wh-what was that!?" he asked, his chest rising and falling rapidly. 

"Shhh," Clarke hissed.  For the moment, they were somewhat hidden in the overgrowth of grass and flowers.  Clarke cursed under her breath, trying to reign in the adrenaline coursing through her and focus on her surroundings. 

The river to the right of them drowned out any sound their assailants might be making if they were on the move But it did give her an idea.  She turned her head then to face a nearly petrified Jordan. 

"That sound was someone shooting at us," she told him, keeping her voice as calm and level as possible, "But we're getting out of here, okay Jordan?" 

Jordan swallowed but nodded. 

"Okay," Clarke took a breath before explaining her exit strategy, or at least the version he needed to hear, "Do you see the tree line, by the path we came up from?" 

With the tiniest of movements, Jordan turned his head, his eyes finding the trees that could offer them cover and protection.   

"Yes," he told her, his voice already steadying.  Good.  He was gonna need that. 

"On the count of three, we're going to make for the trees," she told him, watching his eyes widen in fear. 

"Jordan, listen to me," she said in a strained whisper, "It's gonna be okay.  When we get to the tree line,  keep running.  We want to keep the path to our left and whatever you do, do NOT stop running until you've reached the gates.  You got that?" 

She pinned him down with an encouraging but resolute stare. 

Jordan inhaled and exhaled, his eyes becoming more focused, and less frantic. 

"Got it," he assured her. 

Clarke adjusted, moving off of Jordan, placing her feet hard into the ground, in an attempt to gain whatever traction she could for their take off.  Jordan watched and followed suit. 

Their eyes met, Clarke gave him a last nod. 

"One....."she whispered, heart pounding, "Two......THREE." 

Jordan scrambled to his feet, running hard to the treeline.  At the last second, Clarke pivoted, pushing herself out of the greenery but instead of to the trees, she propelled herself towards the river.  A distance much further than the tree line. 

A second 'pop' and a third echoed against the running water, but Clarke gasped in relief as she felt the air of the projectile whoosh beside her, and not in the distance behind her.  Clarke's plan had worked.  She had drawn out the shooter's fire, making herself the easier, more appealing target.  As long as he kept running, Jordan would be safe. 

When the ground beneath her dropped, Clarke pushed off hard with her feet, waiting for the river to meet her. 

 

Instead she heard a final gunshot.  And then darkness. 

 

* * *

 

The lobby of their apartment building had a large, open recreation area.  It was filled with games and screens and furniture.  Raven and Madi were in the far corner, playing some version of virtual table tennis, Murphy and Emori were in the middle of a heated card game, and Jackson sat with Miller on the couch opposite Bellamy, talking among themselves.  Bellamy sat in an over-large chair, half reading a book as watched the door, waiting for Clarke to return from her walk.  Echo remained in her rooms this afternoon, still frustrated at her boyfriend for his actions this morning.  Ordinarily, Bellamy would say she was overreacting, but this time, after he pulled Clarke into his apartment without a word of explanation, he had to admit her complaints were valid. 

Bellamy and Clarke knew they had to tell the others, but not until they had a greater grasp on what was going on and what they were going to do about it, if anything. The more ordinary and unknowing they all appeared, the safer they would probably be.  So for now, when it came to the others, ignorance was bliss. 

Or so he thought. 

The tall, glass doors to the lobby flung open, as a sweaty and out of breath Jordan stumbled into the building.  Bellamy put his book down, feeling a chill crawl up his spine. 

"Geez, Jordan, what happened to you?  Try and go for a jog?"  Miller laughed, eyeing him with casual humor. 

Jordan ignored him, or maybe didn't hear him, his eyes scanning the room until they landed on Bellamy. 

Bellamy shot to his feet, somehow knowing the words that were coming next. 

"C-Clarke," he cried out between gulps of air.  Bellamy ignored the murmuring of the others, coming beside Jordan in seconds.  As steady as his nerves would allow, he placed a hand on Jordan's bent over shoulder. 

"What happened?" 

Jordan had dirt caked on his face, mud on his clothes where they weren't torn up.  Whatever had happened, it couldn't have been good. 

Jordan pushed himself upright, looking Bellamy in the eye. 

"W-we were outside the gates, going for a walk, when......"he paused to take another breath, "When we were shot at." 

Adrenaline poured through Bellamy, making his ears ring and his vision turn red.  Their second chance, their last hope, was deteriorating around him, and as per usual, Clarke was at the center of the danger and destruction.  He should never had let her leave, he should have made her talk to him, let him help, and at the very least, he damn well should've went with her. 

He was a second away from storming the lobby doors when a soft, small hand wrapped around his arm. 

"Bellamy?"  Madi turned him to her, her eyes already knowing what the others were just putting together.  He put his arm around her shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze before turning back to Jordan. 

"Can you tell us what happened?" 

Jordan's breathing was coming more even, his words coming faster, more coherent. 

"T-there was a small path connecting to the main road surrounding the gates," he told them, "We walked down it for a mile or two, I'm not sure.  Then we stopped by a river at a clearing." 

Jordan looked at Bellamy, his face going pale, "She- Clarke pulled me down before I even knew what was going on.  We couldn't see who shot at us, or where it was coming from.  Sh-she told me to run back to the city...I...I thought she was right behind me, she _**told**_ me she was right behind me," he stammered out, his body nearly shaking from physical and emotional turmoil. 

"The river," Madi's voice came out with surety.  Bellamy look down at her, "She went for the river," Madi repeated. 

Bellamy nodded while the others shared looks of confusion.  For him and Madi, it was an easy puzzle to put together... if you knew Clarke the way they did. 

Bellamy looked back to Jordan, "When you ran, was there more gunfire?" he asked. 

Jordan's eyes jumped from Madi to Bellamy in question, but he nodded in response. 

"At least half a dozen shots, I think," he told them. 

Shit. 

Bellamy rubbed his face with his free hand.  This wasn't looking good.  But the awaiting and confused faces around him made him pull himself together before explaining. 

"Clarke drew the fire away from you, Jordan," he said, trying to keep his voice from cracking, "She ran in another, less covered direction so they would fire on her, and you could get away."

The room silenced.  He couldn't even hear a breath being taken.  Madi turned to Bellamy, a wordless plea. 

He asked Jordan, "Do you think you can show me where you went?  Where the river was?  Maybe draw a map?"

Jordan straightened, "I can try," he said, "But if you're going after Clarke, I'm coming with you." 

Something akin to pride, warmed Bellamy as he looked into the determined eyes of his friend's son. 

"You sure?" he asked, eyebrow raised.  The man looked weary and shaken.  If he was going to come with Bellamy, he needed to be sure he was up for it. 

Jordan raised his chin just a bit, meeting Bellamy's questioning eyes, "She saved my life, Bellamy.  I'm sure." 

Emori put a hand on Jordan's shoulder. 

"She tends to do that," she said with a weak smile. 

Clarke also had the tendency of getting into life-threatening trouble, but Bellamy kept that remark to himself. 

Murphy gave Emori a look before stepping closer. 

"Sounds like a fun time," he said, "I'm in." 

Bellamy gave Murphy a nod.  Murphy always seemed itching to do something, even if that something was dangerous. 

"The three of us should be enough.  Anymore and it might raise some red flags," to Jordan and Murphy he said, "Jordan, go get changed.  Murphy, go get whatever small arms you have.  Meet back down here in ten." 

Murphy smirked, all too happy to comply.  Jordan followed closely after him. 

"What can we do?"  Emori asked. 

Bellamy sighed, looking at his friends.  They may have given Clarke the cold shoulder, but at least they hadn't completely given up on her. 

"Stay here," he told them, "She might make it back on her own.  If she does, keep her here till we get back.  Or try to." 

Raven gave a small grunt but made no comment. 

Emori nodded and the group dispersed.  Almost.

"The four of us," Madi's voice rang out. 

"What-"

"You mean the four of us, right?  Me, you, Jordan and Murphy?"  Madi crossed her arms over her chest, her jaw set firmly, her eyes not giving an inch. 

"Madi, I'm sorry but-" Bellamy started.

"Clarke's in trouble.  She's alone, in danger and probably hurt.  If I don't-"

Bellamy interrupted by placing his hands on her small shoulders.

"Madi, I told Clarke I would watch out for you while she was gone.  Letting you go off into unknown danger doesn't exactly fit that description." 

Madi ignored his defense, "I'm the only person here who's tracked anything in this century, and I know Clarke.  I've hunted with her and camped with her in the forest for years.  If she walked away from the river, I'm your best shot at finding her." 

Bellamy frowned.  As much as he didn't want to admit it, she had a point.  Six years on the ring and another 120 asleep hadn't done much for his Earth Skills.  But before Bellamy had a chance to come up with a rebuttal, Madi threw another punch. 

"You're not the only who cares about her, Bellamy." 

Bellamy couldn't help looking away at the comment, not wanting Madi to see his cheeks flush. 

"I know that, Madi," he replied, his voice a little curt.  He exhaled though, shaking his head.  It really was pointless, "Fine, you can come."

The smile that beamed from Madi's satisfied face almost made it worth it. 

"But," he warned, "If we find Clarke, and she tries to throttle me for bringing you with me, I'm pointing her in your direction."

Madi snorted, probably picturing exactly that. 

"Deal," she said, "See you in ten minutes."

And with that she left the lobby, off to make her own preparations.  Bellamy let out a sigh, regaining focus on what was at stake and what needed to be done.  He jogged down the hallway to his apartment, mentally making a checklist of the items he wished to bring with him.  He swung the door open, knowing it was unlocked. 

He entered his spacious apartment, pulling off the shirt he was wearing, moving to his dresser to find one more appropriate.  He ignored the shaking in his hands as he tossed items into a small backpack.  They would find her, they had to.  It wasn't going to be too late, not like last time, not like-

"Going somewhere?" Echo's voice called from the doorway. 

Shit.  Echo. He'd forgotten about her and their fight.  He spun round to face her.  She was leaning casually against the door frame, eyeing the backpack on the table. 

"Uh, hey, yeah.  Something, something's happened," he stumbled over his words.  But it got Echo's attention as she pushed herself off the doorway and into the apartment, her eyes serious. 

"What's happened?  Is everyone alright?" she asked. 

Bellamy cleared his throat, pulling on a clean shirt. 

"Jordan and Clarke went for a walk this morning," he started, "Only Jordan came back."

Echo stopped. 

"So this is about Clarke?" 

Bellamy wanted to swear under his breath, already sensing an argument coming on, one he didn't have time for.   Instead, he nodded, grabbing his jacket from a nearby chair. 

"You can come with us," he told her, extending the olive branch, "Murphy and Madi are coming and Jordan's going to show us where he last saw her." 

Echo rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

"What makes you think she didn't just run away?  It's what she's good at." 

Anger rippled through Bellamy.  He zipped up the pack and tossed it forcefully onto chair.  He met her annoyed gaze with his own frustrated one. 

"Because they were shot at, Echo," he told her, his voice no longer masking his irritation, "They went outside the city's gates to go for a fucking walk, and someone shot at them.  Jordan was only able to make it back because Clarke drew their fire away from _him_ and onto _her_." 

He tasted the bitterness of the situation on his lips.  Echo looked down for a moment, seemingly in shame.  Maybe he'd been too harsh on her, or too defensive. 

Or maybe not. 

"She'll be back.  Wanheda can take care of herself," Echo said with no warmth. 

Bellamy inhaled, placing his hands on his hips, his finger tips grinding into his sides. 

"Don't," he whispered, to keep from yelling, "Don't call her that."

Echo didn't pay his obvious disdain any mind and continued. 

"After everything she's done, why do you keep doing this!?" 

"Doing what??" Bellamy asked. 

" ** _Saving her_**!" Echo yelled, taking a step closer to him, "She left you in the fighting pit to die and still, here you are, rushing to rescue her!" 

He really, REALLY needed this conversation to end, before his ire got the best of him and he said too much.  But for now, Bellamy inhaled and exhaled deeply before attempting to reply. 

"Clarke did what she thought she had to, to protect her child.  I'm done holding it against her when I've done that and worse to protect Octavia, and _you've_ done that and worse to protect Azgeda." 

Echo's eyes narrowed on him.  It felt like watching a predator, waiting to strike as she took another slow step into his space.  Her voice came out low, like a cold wind trying to knock the breath from you. 

"She thought you were dead, ya know.  When we went to the valley to get Madi, Clarke thought you had died in the fighting pit, where she'd left you." Echo told him, frost dripping from her lips, "She didn't seem too broken up about it.  Barely fluttered her pretty eyelashes when I told her you'd survived." 

If he hadn't known Clarke, if he didn't know the woman who kept her feelings locked away and her friends always at a safe distance, he might have flinched at Echo's narration.  If he hadn't seen the look on Clarke's face when she asked if he was still mad at her, or if Madi hadn't told him about the radio calls, then maybe Echo's blow would've landed.  But it didn't. 

Bellamy took Echo by her shoulders, looking into her almost frantic face. 

"Echo, why are you doing this?!" he asked in earnest. 

Her façade cracked just a fraction as she pulled indignantly away.  He could see the pain on her face, and he was sorry for it.  No matter how uncertain their relationship was at the moment, this was someone he did care about, someone he did love.  Bellamy let her go, taking a breath. 

"Echo, listen to me.  Clarke is not your enemy.   It was Clarke who had the idea to let you out of your cages in Mount Weather.  It was Clarke who wanted to make peace with Azgeda and the coalition.  It was Clarke who gave Emori her evac helmet before Murphy could kill you for yours.  And trust me, he would have.  Jesus Echo, it was Clarke who got us on the damn ring.  When we first landed on earth, trying to figure out how to survive, how to fight a war, she trusted me, even when my actions back then didn't always deserve it.  And after the blockade at Arkadia.... and Pike and.... Clarke chose to trust me when no one else would, and then she chose to forgive me when no one else could. The day you escaped Mount Weather, when 300 people didn't, I had my hand on that lever just as much as she did.  You don't get to vilify her and not pass judgement on me.  Now unless you're going to tell me why you're really angry, why you truly can't forgive Clarke, then I'm done explaining why I don't want to see her dead."

Echo spun to face him, her face a mixture of anger and almost desperation. 

"Then let someone else go save her!  It doesn't always have to be you, Bellamy!" her hands gesturing manically.  Bellamy took a gentle step towards her.

"I don't want to upset you Echo, and I'm sorry for that, but this is something I need to do.  I wish you could understand," he told her, his voice straining to be quiet and calm. 

Echo swallowed, her chest rising and falling rapidly, even though they had barely moved. 

"If you do this, if you go to her, Bellamy, don't come back," she told him, "Not to me."

Bellamy reared back, shocked by her words and their implication. 

"You're giving me an ultimatum?" he asked her, his voice rising, "Why!?  Why does any of this-"

"You know _why_ Bellamy!" she yelled, "And if you don't you're only fooling yourself!  I'm not giving you an ultimatum, I'm giving you a choice.......and we both know you'll always choose her.  You don't _need_ to go save her Bellamy, the others can do that.  You _want_ to.  You _want_ to go to her, more than staying here with me."

"Echo listen to yourself, you're threatening me with our relationship, because I want to go save a friend!!"

"A _**friend**_?" Echo let out a laugh, cold and humorless, "She's not you're friend, Bellamy.  She's never been your just your _friend_.  You watch her and confide in her, you trust her and forgive her without any good reason to, you-" 

"Echo, stop," Bellamy interjected, not wanting this already out of control conversation to go spiraling down that path, "None of that is fair." 

"FAIR!?" Echo's eyes widened with fury, "No, it's not fair.  None of this is fair.  Fair would be you coming to talk to me instead of her, fair would be you doing what I ask you to and not go, fair would be us never having to leave earth in the first place, fair would be if Clarke had just _**STAYED DEAD!"**_

The room froze, only the sound of Echo's heavy breathing filling the air. 

"Get. Out." Bellamy's voice was low and unrelenting; no more sympathy or understanding, no more attempts to compromise, no more explanation, no more. 

The realization of what she had done, of the line she had just crossed seemed to dawn on Echo.  Her face softened, her body slumped in submission and regret. 

"Bellamy, I'm-"

"Get, out, Echo," Bellamy repeated, louder this time, unwavering, "I'm done.  Done with this conversation and I'm done with you.  So please, get out." 

Tears appeared to fall down Echo's cheek.  Remorse and humility coming far too late.  Knowing that there was no more discussion to be had, not with him, Echo slowly turned to leave.  At the door she paused, looking back but unable to look Bellamy in the eyes. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered, no more fight in her.  With that, she left, closing the door behind her. 

Bellamy breathed, his hands clenched in a fist, trying to ground himself, steady himself from what just happened.  After a moment, he sat down, resting his head in his hands.  This is not what he wanted.  This is not what should've happened between them.  Everything was so twisted, he wasn't sure how he was going to untangle it all.  The things Echo had said......what else was he supposed to do?  Maybe he shouldn't have yelled, or maybe he shouldn't have kept so much from her lately.  But he couldn't stay with her.  Not now.  Memories of Bellamy staring down at an earth on fire came to him.  He remembered the agony of losing Clarke, the verity that he would've given anything, _anything_ to have been able to save her.  Hearing Echo wish for the thing that had caused him so much grief and guilt and immeasurable pain for six years, broke whatever was left of his desire to be with her and work out their problems. 

A knock came from the door, interrupting his inner torment. 

"Bellamy?"  Madi's voice called from the other side, "You in there?" 

He inhaled, trying to shake off the past ten minutes and everything that had just transpired. 

"Yeah Madi, I'm here," he replied, "I'll be out in a minute." 

"Okay," was all she said.  He heard her footsteps fade as she walked down the hall. 

They were waiting for him.  Clarke was waiting for him.  He didn't know if she was injured, or dead or about to walk through his door, alive and well.  But Bellamy did know what it was to have lost her, without being given the chance to save her.  Today, Bellamy wasn't held down by circumstance, or the cruelty of fate; he had the chance to try, and he damn well was going to.

With renewed purpose, Bellamy rose, grabbed his pack and headed towards the door.  All he could do was try, and pray he wasn't too late. 

 

* * *

 

 

They had to sneak out of the city, not wanting to cause any suspicion or be found with their weapons on them if they went through the main gates.  The four of them stayed quiet for the most part, eyes and ears on alert for whoever it was that had decided they were their enemy.  Only Jordan's voice, directing them where to go, could be heard within the colourful woods.  Bellamy had to keep himself on task, forcing himself not to dwell on who had shot at Clarke and Jordan or why.  There would be plenty of time for that, once they found Clarke.  Madi walked beside him, her eyes steel blue as she concentrated on the path ahead of them and little else.  She reminded him of Clarke, when they first landed on earth, ignoring all the green and splendor in favor of the greater obstacles and danger they faced.  If he wasn't so worried, the memory and the comparison might have made him smile. 

They reached the top of a small hill, where the woods cleared and a river cut through the forest.  Jordan stopped, his eyes looking down at ground beneath him. 

"Here," his voice a little shaky, "This is where I last saw her." 

Instinctively, Bellamy's eyes darted across the area, his hand gripping his rifle just a fraction tighter.  None of them moved, or breathed.  All watched and listened, waiting for the sound of an approaching enemy, or an awaiting friend. 

Neither came. 

After several moments, Murphy was the first to move, walking up to the river's edge. 

"Okay miss tracker," he looked over at Madi, inclining his head to something on the ground, "Come take a look at this." 

Both Madi and Bellamy walked up to where he stood, eyes already moving to where Murphy was indicating.  Murphy pointed to a spot, where the grass dipped, almost as if trampled.  Bellamy's heart pounded in his ears as he watched Madi bend over to inspect. 

"T-there's a footprint," she muttered, her voice coming out a little unsteady.  She took her finger and outlined what was now an obvious footprint in the muddied grass.  But was it Clarke's?

Madi's head popped up, eyes searching. A second later she was upright, moving to a spot right where the river met the land. 

"Here!" She called out, the others right behind her.  She squatted, balancing so she could show them without falling into the river herself. She pointed again to the ground.  Bellamy and the other's followed her direction.  There was less grass here, the dirt soft from the river's spray.  Madi's finger pointed to an indent in the earth, more sunken than the one before, but still in a similar shape. 

"Do you see how it's deeper at the front than the back?" Madi asked, showing them what she meant.  Bellamy was already connecting the dots when Madi excitedly stood up.

"She jumped!" Madi told them, her eyes shimmering with discovery and hope. 

Murphy cocked his head, looking between Madi and Bellamy. 

"And we're acting like this is a good thing, why?" he said in his usual sardonic tone.  Madi was already moving, pushing past the others, following the river bank. 

"Clarke can swim, that's why," she replied, eyes ahead of her, looking out. 

Bellamy was moving to catch up with her, when Jordan spoke up behind him.  

"G-guys," he stammered.  Bellamy turned back to see Jordan, standing by a collection of rocks near the footprints, his eyes wide and his face pale as he looked down.  Bellamy sprinted the five steps separating them. 

"Jordan, what is it?" Bellamy asked, coming up beside him.  Jordan pointed to the largest stone. 

Blood. 

Ice coursed through Bellamy's veins as the visual hit him.  She was bleeding.  Somewhere in this unknown wilderness, Clarke was alone and hurt and if he didn't find her.....

Madi had made her way over to them, eyes following theirs.   Her sharp inhale let Bellamy know she was seeing what they saw. 

"We have to go!" she cried out, feet moving before the others could stop her, soon running along side the river.  Bellamy cursed under his breath before following after her. 

"Madi, wait, stop!" he called out ineffectually.  He heard the others clamor behind him, and then they were all running after a 12 year old girl.  Bellamy's eyes were frantically trying to scan their surroundings as the scenery moved past him.  He hoped they weren't about to be running into a trap.  With their luck though, Bellamy couldn't rule it out.  Despite the obvious danger, the running helped.  It helped Bellamy's heart race for a reason other than his own distressing thoughts.  If he had any chance of finding Clarke, he needed to keep his presence of mind and not let the dooming, heart-wrenching thoughts overcome him. 

The river to the right of them finally started to slow down and level out.  Bellamy was just a few steps behind Madi now, when suddenly, she stopped dead, nearly careening into him. 

"Madi what-"

"Bellamy?!" Madi called out, loud and disconcerting.  Bellamy placed a hand on her shoulder, pushing past her. 

Just ahead of them, a large streak of mud trailed from the river to the forest's edge.  As if something, or _someone_ had been dragged out of the water.  He heard the others catch up to them.  With a hand he stopped them, his eyes following the trail.  Before anyone else moved, Bellamy snapped his head back to Madi,

"Stay.  Here," he told her, his tone not one to question.  He took off before she or the others could argue with him, moving towards the trail.  Bellamy moved his rifle to a ready position on his shoulder, eyes scouring the forest through his sights as he followed the muddy path into the woods.  He remembered Jasper, speared through the chest and dragged across the grounder's land, only to be used as a trap.  He had a gun then too.

 _'I'm here for you.'_   Words from a lifetime ago whispered in his mind.  Words that changed his life forever.  Words he wished he could repeat to her if he could just fucking find-

A flash of colour appeared in his sights, five or so yards into the trees.  Bellamy's eyes adjusted, focusing, as he picked up the pace. 

 _THERE._   Bellamy's heart leapt as two feet appeared just beyond a tall thicket.  He was running now, his legs moving almost as fast as his heart.

"CLARKE!?" He called out, reaching the thicket in a second, maybe less.  He fell to his knees, tossing his rifle aside.  The bush was covered in thorns, making it nearly impossible to see who the feet were attached too.  But he knew.  He recognized her shoes and the bit of pants that were visible and not covered in mud or branches. 

"SHE'S HERE!" He called out to the others, but not waiting for them before he dove into the thicket himself, ignoring the stinging as the thorns cut across his face and hands.  She was here, he'd found her. 

"Clarke?" he called out to her again.  No answer. 

He saw her fully now, face down, motionless, covered in the sludge she had dragged herself through.  Her yellow hair, a stark contrast against the brown and green around them.  He could barely feel his own hands as he placed them on her cold, damp shoulders. 

"Clarke," he whispered to her, his heart in his throat, "I'm here." 

He rolled her to him, her body limp. He choked back a sob when her face came into view.  She was covered in scraps and cuts, her hair filled with streaks of mud, and her lips, lax and open, were blue.  She didn't move or shiver or react in any way to his touch.  She was silent.  And the silence was destroying him. 

Desperately, he tore open her jacket, placing his head on her unmoving chest, pressing his ear down, hoping, praying to hear something.  Seconds that felt like hours passed before the thump of her still beating heart echoed in his ear.  Bellamy inhaled sharply.  She was alive. But only just.  Bellamy didn't hesitate.  He heaved her listless body into his arms, shielding her body from the thorns as he pushed his way out of the thicket. 

"Oh my god," he heard Jordan mutter as Bellamy emerged from the bushes.

"She still has a pulse," Bellamy called out, taking a few steps before gently placing Clarke back on the ground, "But I don't think she's breathing." 

Bellamy threw off his jacket, wrapping Clarke in it.  Besides everything else, she was likely hypothermic. 

"S-she, she looks..." Madi spoke, her voice quiet and frightened as she looked down at the spiritless body of her guardian, her family. 

"Madi, I need you to look away," Bellamy called out to her, eyes still on Clarke.  When he felt no one move, he yelled, "MADI, LOOK AWAY NOW." 

But the young girl was frozen in shock and maybe disbelief. 

"Murphy!" he bellowed, knowing his friend would understand.  He heard the others shuffle as Murphy took Madi aside, turning her to face him and not the scene that was about to unfold. 

"Come on, kid, he's got her, come here," he heard Murphy murmur.  It was easy to forget, but she was still a kid, a kid who had suffered immeasurable loss already. She didn't need to see this. 

Bellamy touched Clarke's neck, feeling for a pulse.  He found it, her heart beating weak and fading.  It was then he noticed the blood, seeping through his jacket he laid on her moments before.  Bellamy removed it, finding the source. 

On her left shoulder, a gaping gunshot wound, blood still oozing from it. 

"Fuck," Bellamy muttered, pulling his jacket back over her, placing his hands hard on the wound. "Jordan!" he called out, footsteps coming up beside him.  Before Jordan could even ask, Bellamy was barking orders. 

"I need you to put your hands where mine are and press down," he instructed.  Jordan stammered and stumbled beside him but was at Clarke's other side in a moment.  He looked back at Bellamy for confirmation. 

"Right where my hands are, but you need to press HARD, okay?" he told him.  Jordan swallowed and nodded, probably terrified.  Their hands overlapped for a moment before Bellamy slide his aside.  He watched Jordan and then nodded, satisfied. 

They were running out of time, Bellamy knew it.  If he wanted to save her, he couldn't falter. 

And he didn't. 

Stamping down the boundless tide of emotions about to over take him, Bellamy took Clarke's chin and nose in his hands and pressed his lips to hers. 

 _Breathe._ He begged, forcing air from his lungs into hers.  _Breathe dammit._

He popped his head up, looking at her for any changes.  Nothing.  Only the faint glimmer of wetness on her lips from his own. 

The dam holding back all of his sorrow and despair and anger began to crack. 

"Come on Clarke!" he told the unresponsive body before him, urgently placing his mouth on hers once more.  Not now, he thought, breathing air into her, not after everything they had been through, everything she had been through.  He'd been without her once, without her voice, her touch, her love.  He couldn't survive that again.  He wouldn't. 

He could taste the blood and the tears on his lips as they left hers.  Still nothing.  His breath hitched and his eyes blurred.  Bellamy cradled Clarke's beautiful face in his hands, placing his forehead to hers. 

"Don't do this," he whispered, closing his eyes in anguish, "Please don't do this Clarke." 

He could feel his heart tear apart.  His world becoming more and more meaningless as her life drifted away.  He bent his head to her ear. 

"Please come back. Come back to me," his words barely audible, "Clarke, I lo-"

Clarke gasped, her body jerking upward in beautiful, astonishing life.  

"CLARKE!" Madi flew down to them, throwing herself onto the still semi-conscious form.   Bellamy was voiceless, too shocked and beholden to speak as he watched Clarke's chest rise and fall and her eyes flutter open and then close again. 

 _She was alive._ She was alive and he hadn't been too late. 

Tears of gratitude fell down his cheeks.  He didn't bother wiping them away. 

"And they call me a cockroach," Murphy said with snark behind him.  But even his voice cracked, affected by everything that had just happened and what could have happened.

Clarke mumbled a few incoherent words, bringing Bellamy back to her. 

"Hey, it's okay Clarke.  We're here, we got you," he told her gently, unsure if she would even understand him.  He looked back to the others. 

"She's still lost a lot of blood, and she's cold as ice.  We need to get her back to Asec." 

The others nodded in understanding.  Madi reluctantly removed herself from Clarke, squeezing her hand once more before standing with the others.  Bellamy scooped Clarke up in his arms, grunting as he rose to stand.  The others didn't argue or interject, didn't bother offering to carry her or to help. They knew the only place Bellamy was going to allow her to be right now was in his arms. 

Her head fell onto his shoulder as he adjusted her higher onto his chest. 

"I've got you," he whispered, for her alone.  A half frozen, lethargic hand came up to his chest, her fingers tightening around his shirt.  Bellamy allowed himself a small, soft smile as he watched her before stepping out into the clearing, back towards the city. 

 

A mechanical click stopped him in his tracks.  The sound of a bullet being chambered.  

 

"Put the girl down, Mr. Blake." 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Vidi pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My oh my a lot has happened so far, but nothing compared to what is about to happen! Thank you all so much for reading this story! It's been such a joy writing it! 
> 
> But seriously......prepare yourselves.....

The first thing she felt was pain.  Which was odd, considering Clarke was fairly certain she had died.  Dead people don't feel pain do they? 

Disjointed memories of cold, thundering water flashed through her mind, before returning to the inky blackness it was before.  No, not blackness, Clarke noted as her perception began to alter; black turning into grey, grey turning into pink.  The silence she had been enveloped in began to fade, the volume of the world around her, increasing with every breath. 

Breath?  She was breathing??  Clarke realized, comprehending that she was in fact very much alive.  She reached for her senses, bringing with it awareness of her body, her mind, and the throbbing pain in her shoulder. 

She gathered her strength, willing her eyes to open.  A blur of light and colour flickered in her vision.  When the world finally came into focus, shadows turning into shape, Clarke's eyes landed on the head of unruly, black hair resting beside her. 

 _Bellamy_.  She thought, the words not yet making it to her lips.  _Of course_ Bellamy.  Who else would have brought her back from the darkness, back from the dead.  He was sleeping, his eyes closed.  His body half on her cot, half in a chair beside her.  She itched to touch him, run her fingers through his curls, but thought better of it.  Instead she looked around, taking in her rather confusing surroundings. 

She wasn't in Asec's infirmary, she knew that.  She wasn't even sure she was in the city at all.  The room around her would hardly qualify as a room by their standards. There were tarps where there should have been windows, wooden beams where there should have been a roof, and what looked like a mix of scrap metal and lumber made the walls of what Clarke would more closely describe as a shack, or hut than an actual house.  Two other chairs sat in a corner, unused.  A small table stood on the other side of her cot, carrying a tray of what might have been food and water, and an uneven door on the opposite side of the room.  Nothing else was present to give away just where exactly they were. 

Clarke remembered her walk with Jordan, the shots fired and her dive into the river.  It all felt like a dream, too surreal to be true.  But the pain in her shoulder was real enough, as were the aches and stiffness she felt all over as she took stock of her body.  The bandage on her left shoulder told her she'd probably been shot, but the cloth was clean, no active bleeding.  She gave her toes and her fingers a wiggle, making sure everything was functioning.  Which brought her attention back to the sleeping form beside her. 

Bellamy's one arm was tucked under him, cushioning his head, the other lay alongside her, his fingertips resting on the exposed skin of her arm.  Clarke looked down at the man who had saved her time and time again.  He looked soft, vulnerable.  Not angry, annoyed or hurt as she too often saw him.  He confused her to no end.  Not only did she wonder how in the world he had managed to find her before she became a human popsicle, but why did he even bother trying?  Bellamy didn't owe her anything.  In fact, she was hesitant to even call them friends at the moment, after everything that had happened.  But here he was nonetheless, looking after her, _saving_ her.  But why??

Clarke bit her lip, pushing down the whispers of possibilities; dreams of romantical notions and fictional circumstances.  She let them fall into the back of her mind.  There was no point in playing herself.  Bellamy had his reasons for saving her, but they were not the same reasons why her heart ached in his presence. 

Bellamy stirred and Clarke watched as his eyes drowsily opened.  In a moment they searched and found her face. 

"Hey," Clarke whispered, her voice dry and coarse. 

Bellamy's eyes widened, "Hey," he replied softly.  He stared at her for a moment, as if in disbelief before a smile spread across his face. 

"Welcome back," he said. 

"How long was I out?" she asked. 

"About a day," he told her, then shifted in his seat uneasily, "Do you remember anything?  About what happened?"

Clarke inhaled and exhaled, "I remember walking with Jordan, getting shot at and I remember going for a swim," she said sardonically, "Everything after that is a blur." 

Bellamy nodded.  Clarke moved to sit up, wincing at the sharp pain from her shoulder when she did.  Bellamy frowned at her but said nothing. 

"Bellamy, where are we?" she asked, "What happened after the river?  How did you even find me?" 

He stood up and walked to the other side of her cot.  Bellamy sat down beside her and reached for a glass of water that sat on the tray.  He handed it to her before answering. 

"Well, Jordan made it back to Asec, told us what happened.  He said he could show us where he last saw you so me, Murphy and Madi w-"

"Madi!?" Clarke interrupted almost frantically, "Madi's here?  Is she okay?" 

A warm hand grasped hers.

"Easy, Clarke," Bellamy told her, giving her hand a squeeze.  The unexpected contact surprised her into silence. 

"Madi's fine," he assured her, but then his face grew dark, his eyes dropped and his jaw tightened, "When we found you.......it wasn't good.   Madi was pretty shook up.  She stayed by your side for hours.  I eventually had to make her leave to get some sleep.  I'll go get her in a minute." 

He still stared down, not meeting her eyes.  Clarke gave his hand a squeeze in return, urging him to look at her. 

"I'm sorry," she said, "I'm sorry for putting you all through that." 

Bellamy shrugged sheepishly. 

"You're okay now," he said, "That's all that matters."  He looked up then, eyes on her.  Something was different, something had changed.  Bellamy seemed more animated, less..... restrained than the last time they'd spoke.  She couldn't remember the last time Bellamy had sought out Clarke's touch.  It was years ago.  A century ago. 

Bellamy cleared his throat and continued,

"Anyways, Jordan showed us where you were shot at, where the river was.  We found you about half a mile down stream.  Looked like you had dragged yourself out of the river and into the forest." 

Clarke sighed and shook her head, "I don't remember that, but thank you," she told him, "For finding me, for coming after me at all." 

Bellamy frowned, "You think we wouldn't.....you think _I_ wouldn't?" 

It was Clarke's turn to shrug in shyness, looking down at her cup, and not at him. 

"I think it was a risk," she told him, "One you didn't have to take." 

For a long, horrible moment there was silence.  Clarke didn't know if she would look up to find Bellamy gone from the room. 

"Yes," Bellamy finally said, gruffly, "Yes, I did." 

When she finally gathered enough courage to look up, she found Bellamy looking at her, so intensely she was sure she stopped breathing.  His eyes looked pained, his grip on her hand tightened.  His reaction left her bewildered, unsure of what to say.  On instinct Clarke reached out for him. 

"Bellamy, I-" 

"Good morning," a voice came from the doorway, causing both Bellamy and Clarke who had been lost in their own world, to jump.  Clarke looked at the stranger greeting her, a short woman with silver dusted brown hair, who's clothes were threadbare, much more ragged than those she saw in Asec.  She didn't recognize her.  Reluctantly, Clarke pulled her hand away from Bellamy's, putting her cup back on the tray. 

"Glad to see our patient doing well, Mr. Blake,' the woman took a step inside the room.  Clarke eyes flew to Bellamy.  Apparently he knew this woman.  He answered her unasked question. 

"Clarke, this is-"

"My name is Alana Rodriguez, Clarke," the woman spoke for herself, stepping up to Clarke's cot, "And this is my home." 

"Alana is...."  Bellamy stammered, "Well, Alana is-" 

"Someone who's looking forward to having a conversation with you, Clarke," the woman said, interrupting Bellamy for the second time, "When you're rested." 

Clarke looked between Alana and Bellamy, confused to say the least. 

"I've rested enough," she told Alana while attempting to straighten her shoulders, "So by all means, tell me what it is you both are trying so hard not to." 

Alana smirked, then turned to Bellamy,

"She's sharp," she said.  Clarke was fairly certain she could hear Bellamy mumble something along the lines of 'you have no idea,' but she let it slide, keeping her eyes on Alana as she took one of the spare chairs and sat herself down.  

But it was Bellamy who spoke first,

"After we found you, when we were about to leave for Asec, Alana found us, and brought us here." 

"Brought us?"  Clarke questioned.  Were they kidnapped or coerced into following her? 

Alana's cool voice replied, "You all looked like you were in need of help.  I simply offered it." 

"The gun was a little unnecessary, Alana," Bellamy chimed in, with a small smirk on his face.  The word gun made her stomach twist, but not as much as the familiarity between the two.  Bellamy seemed to be trusting this woman.  For better or for worse. 

"You were all armed, if you recall, Mr. Blake," Alana retorted, in equal good humor, "As much as I wanted to help, I have to protect myself and my people." 

That got Clarke's attention. 

"Your people?" 

Alana had sharp, almost cat like green eyes, they turned to Clarke and narrowed a fraction, as the corners of her lips turned up. 

"Yes, Clarke, my people.  The other exiles of Aurora Secundi."

Clarke froze for a moment, then shook her head, "I'm sorry, what?" 

Bellamy spoke up, "Julius lied to us, Clarke.  There's more going on here than we were told." 

Clarke felt like she was falling, drifting away as if the river still had her.  Her world had once again been spun round and cracked into pieces, her hopes returned to dust and dreams. 

"How much more?" she asked, her voice low and serious. 

Bellamy sighed, "Clarke, are you sure you're up for this?  You might want to rest a bit more." 

"I'm fine, Bellamy," Clarke told him sternly, "Now would the two of you please get on with it and tell me what the hell is going on here?" 

Clarke's patience had expired.  Maybe it was the pain in her shoulder, or the ache in her spine.  But more likely, it was the familiar territory she found herself in, and all that came with it.  Would there ever be an end to this?  The constant battle for truth and peace??  Clarke was beginning to think there wasn't. 

Alana sighed, eyeing her up and down before she began. 

"Bellamy's told me you discovered Asec's true name, and it's origins?" 

"Second Dawn," Clarke answered.  Alana nodded. 

"That's correct.  This planet was colonized by members of that group, and they've been in control ever since."

Clarke frowned, "But I thought the planet was found by the Eligius company, to mine hithilonium and natural resources." 

Alana crossed her legs, all business, as if she'd given this speech many times. 

"William- Bill Cadogan, the founder of Second Dawn infiltrated the Eligius company, filled the ship with a large number of his followers, and sent them to Colonize this planet.  His members would pay millions of dollars in dues, so he had the finances to make that possible.  Cadogan predicted the first apocalypse two years before it happened, enough time for him to set in motion the events you see unfolding today." 

"I don't understand," Clarke said, "If Cadogan was trying to survive the apocalypse, then why didn't he go on the Eligius ship?" 

Bellamy was the one to speak this time, "Because he sent something even more important to him than his own life."

Clarke looked at Bellamy in confusion, but Alana continued to answer,

 "Clarke, Julius' full name is Julius....William.....Cadogan," Alana leaned forward, "Bill Cadogan's son." 

_What the fuck was she talking about??_

Clarke shook her head fiercely, "That's not possible." 

The dark haired woman almost seemed to find enjoyment from Clarke's reaction.  She leaned back, crossing her arms, "Sure it is.  If you were brought here when you were 16 and still had access to a cryo chamber." 

Clarke's brain felt like it was going into overdrive.  Flashes of everything she'd seen since arriving swarmed her vision.  Eligius 3 would have left Earth, what?  200 years ago?  And they wouldn't have found this place and made it here for another 100 years?  That meant the members of Eligius and Second Dawn, were here, alive for 100 years.  If someone had access to a cryo chamber, used it at night, and maybe here and there, that would mean they'd only aged 50 years...... which fit Julius 60-70 year old appearance.  Clarke searched and searched in her mind for meaning, for sense of it all.....but found none. 

"....Why?" she finally whispered, half to herself, "Why would he do that?"

Alana was ready for this response though, and continued her story. 

"Not everyone aboard Eligius 3 was a member of Second Dawn, Clarke.  Those of us who weren't, wanted to return to earth after we heard about the bombs, return to our home and rebuild.  But Julius denied us, and exiled us from the city.  He keeps the cryo chamber so he can keep his control of Asec.  He's a tyrant, Clarke." 

More spinning.  Clarke tried to ground herself, "But if he was only sixteen, how could he have taken control of the city when you all arrived here?" 

Bellamy answered, "How old were you Clarke, when we landed in the drop ship on earth?" 

Clarke said nothing.  Point taken. 

She scrambled to put the pieces together.  Cadogan had used Eligius 3 as a missionary trip, sending his own son- Julius- to save him from the world ending.  Julius took control and built the city of Asec, exiling those who did not follow the Second Dawn and used a cryo chamber to extend his life to maintain power.  

All of which he had neglected to tell her and the others.  None of which made any damn sense. 

Another thought crossed her mind. 

"If Julius knows you're here, why let me and Jordan, or anyone, outside the city walls?" she asked. 

"We do have a few allies in the city walls, which is how we came to know about all of you, but Julius has almost everyone in Asec brain washed.  They're taught to fear us, to avoid us at all cost, not to venture out as far as you and your friend did.  And we know that engaging with his followers is futile.  We don't seek them out, even if they cross our paths or approach our land.  You, on the other hand,"  Alana paused, her finger tapping on her crossed arm, "You are newcomers, from an entirely different time, with an entirely different leadership and belief system than the one he rules with, who just so happened to have learned the real name of his beloved city........seems like the kind of person he wouldn't mind losing in the woods." 

Clarke's eyes narrowed on the woman, "You're saying it was Julius, or at least one of his people, who shot at Jordan and I." 

Alana nodded. 

"But I've never seen a gun in the city," Clarke replied, grasping for straws. 

Alana shrugged, "Just because you've never seen something, doesn't mean it doesn't exist." 

Well shit. 

Clarke internally swore.  She wished she had seen who had shot at them, so she could have some concrete evidence.  She wished she'd never gone for that damn walk.  She wished she wasn't being put in another impossible situation. 

What the hell did they do now. 

"How do we know you're not lying to us," Bellamy asked, apparently not as convinced as he had seemed earlier, "How do we know you aren't the one feeding us a story." 

Alana stood then, all too casually, like nothing that had happened in the past day had phased her.  She gave Bellamy a smirk. 

"Because, Mr. Blake, I know what's it's like to have my reality shifted, to not know what's real and what's a lie, and I know that when the two of you return to the city, you'll go searching for the truth.  And when you find it, because I'm sure you will, you'll know who was telling you the truth." 

Bellamy and Clarke exchanged looks but said nothing.  This didn't seem to bother Alana. 

"Well if it's alright with you, Clarke, I'll go bring you that kid of yours," she offered.

Without a second glance, the older brunette left the room. 

"Goddamnit," Bellamy grumbled, his teeth grinding in agitation as he stood to pace the room.  Clarke moved her legs to the side of the cot, but didn't push it by standing. 

"What the hell are we going to, Bellamy?" she asked, not entirely expecting an answer. 

He marched back and forth across the room, "I've been trying to figure that out since she told me most of that," he said.   After several more moments, Bellamy made his way to her cot, pushing his back against the closest wall. 

"She's right, " he said, "We need to go back, see if we can find proof of her story, or validation of his." 

Clarke looked up at him then, "You believe her?" 

Bellamy exhaled and shook his head, "I honestly have no idea who or what to believe at this point.  But I do know that if Alana hadn't found us and brought you here......Clarke, you may not have made it to Asec." 

There was sadness in his eyes for a moment, making Clarke itch to comfort him.  But the moment passed and Clarke focused back on the problem at hand. 

"Will she really just let us all leave?"  Clarke asked, skeptical. 

Bellamy shrugged, "We haven't been prisoners here, Clarke.  We weren't thrown into a locked room, or put in chains," he told her honestly,  "Besides, it's probably in her best interest to let us go back, find the truth about Julius." 

"How so?" Clarke asked. 

"If we find out that what she's saying is true, Alana knows we'd either have to unseat Julius somehow, or become exiles ourselves." 

Clarke nodded quietly, putting the pieces together herself, wishing she could see the bigger picture, but it was still hidden to her.  She looked again at Bellamy, "So, this afternoon?" she asked. 

Bellamy frowned at her a little, "You sure you'll be up for it?  It's a half a day's walk back to Asec."

"As long as nobody's shooting at me, I'll be fine," she told him.  He gave a halfhearted laugh in response. 

"I'll go tell the others then," he said, turning to leave the room.  She called back to him impulsively as he reached the door. 

"Bellamy?"

He turned to her, waiting. 

"Thank you." 

She didn't have to tell him what for.  He knew.  Bellamy looked down at his feet, giving her a small nod before turning back to the door and leaving. 

Clarke barely had a moment to breath before the door swung back open, a tornado of brown hair and blue eyes rushing past it. 

"CLARKE," the girl cried out before launching herself into Clarke's arms.  She smiled at the young girl's affection, wrapping her arms around the small form and gave it a squeeze. 

"Miss me?" she asked with a grin.  Blue eyes raised to meet hers. 

"Don't do that again," Madi looked pale and tired but Clarke couldn't help but warm at the girl's concern.  She pulled a piece of hair off the girl's face. 

"I'll see what I can do," she told her, teasingly.  

Madi sighed and sat next to Clarke on the cot. 

"Thank you for finding me," Clarke told her sincerely.  As much as she didn't entirely approve of Madi going off with Bellamy, Jordan and Murphy, she was grateful the girl wanted to help, and she doubted that any of the boys could have stopped her. 

"Are you feeling any better?" Madi asked, "You were asleep for so long." 

"I'm feeling much better," she told Madi, "Good enough that we'll be leaving for Asec this afternoon." 

She felt the girl stiffen beside her.  She put her arm on Madi's shoulder. 

"Madi, everything okay?" she asked. 

Madi gave Clarke a pitiful look and sighed, "Remember how you said you wanted me to tell you if anything about my nightmares changed?" 

Oh good lord.  Apparently this was the day for revelations. 

"Madi, what is it?" Clarke asked, her tone a little less sweet. 

"I had them again," Madi told her, "Since we got here." 

Clarke pushed past her desire to squeeze her fists, and instead, calmly asked the girl, "Can you tell me what they were about?" 

"Well they weren't nightmares this time," she said, her eyes drifting into her own mind, "They were more like visions, or memories.  And they were only of her." 

"Of who?" Clarke asked. 

"Becca," Madi replied, "But not of her as the Commander.  She was laughing and smiling and it didn't look like she was in the bunker or Polaris." 

Clarke frowned.  She had no idea what to make of that, and after today and everything else her mind had to cope with, she wasn't even going to try. 

"Well I'm glad the commanders showed you something less traumatizing for once." 

"It's weird to see her like that, knowing how she died," Madi said softly. 

Clarke rubbing the young girls shoulders, "Tell you what," she said, "Bellamy and I were talking and, when we get back, if you want, we'll talk to Gaia.  See if she can help you make any sense of these visions." 

And just like that, Madi glowed.  Her smile returned and she looked at Clarke as if she had placed the sun in her hands. 

"Really?" She asked. 

"I said I was going to try, didn't I," she poked the girl jokingly, "Besides, I think we could use the commander's help with filling in some blanks."

"Like what?" 

"I'll tell you when we get back, right now, I need you to go get ready." 

Madi smiled, gave Clarke a quick, gentle hug around the waist and was off once more. 

She didn't think things could get more complicated but clearly, the universe was determined to prove her wrong.  Everything was clouded in confusion and uncertainty.   Clarke knew the dots had to connect, she just had no idea how. 

One step at a time.  She thought.  And that first step was getting their asses back to Asec and try and find out just who exactly Julius was. 

 

* * *

 

"Murphy, would you slow down!"  Bellamy called out from beside her. 

They were about half a mile from the city's walls, the sky above them turning grey as they walked on.  Bellamy hadn't moved from her side since they left the exiles' camp.  He was always there, offering a hand, or supporting her waist whenever the terrain got rough and the reality of having a gunshot wound reared its head.  It was sweet, really, if it wasn't sending her nerves haywire. 

"Bellamy, I'm fine.  Really," she assured him for the hundredth time. 

"Well since I'm the one who found you half dead and bleeding, less than a day ago... I am going to respectfully disagree," he told her with a half grin. 

All Clarke could do was grumble her annoyance. 

"The others will be waiting for us," Bellamy continued, referring to their friends inside the city. 

"If Julius hasn't like, I dunno, interned them or something," Murphy scoffed, making his way back to the group. 

"Shut up, Murphy," Bellamy growled, but didn't argue.  They'd been missing for over a day.  Obviously, it was going to raise a red flag when they returned, if their absence hadn't done that already.  For all they knew, Murphy was right, they could be headed straight towards their own imprisonment. 

Clarke sighed, and shook herself, wanting to change the subject. 

"I'm surprised Echo isn't with you," she said, "I would've thought she'd be desperate for some time outside the city." 

Beside her Bellamy stiffened, just for a moment, enough for her to notice.  Then he coughed and walked onward, pushing past her and the others. 

"I'll go scout ahead," he said gruffly, not waiting for a reply as he marched out of ear shot. 

 _Well that was strange._   Clarke thought, frowning at Bellamy's receding form.  All day, Bellamy had been beside her, anticipating every stumble or lightheadedness.  But one mention of Echo, and he fled the scene.  There wasn't even a point of scouting as she could practically see the peaks of the city's walls from here. 

"I'll come with you!" the energetic young girl on her other side announced before charging up the slope towards Bellamy, who didn't bother looking back or argue against it. 

Clarke turned to Murphy. 

"What was that about?" 

Murphy shrugged, "Probably not up for talking about it yet," he said, kicking a branch out of their path. 

"Talk about what?" Clarke asked, her curiosity spiked. 

Murphy sighed, already bored with the prospect of refusing her. 

"About him and Echo being over." 

Clarke tripped over her own feet, ungracefully but quickly recovering, to face Murphy in heated confusion. 

"What? Why? When?" She couldn't keep the questions from coming out her mouth, as she felt her heart beat faster. 

"Happened just before we left Asec to find you," he told her before giving her a crooked smile and continuing, "And I think you're smart enough to guess why, Clarke."  He eyed her up and down, raising an eyebrow. 

Subtle. 

Clarke rolled her eyes, knowing what he was implying, "Don't be stupid, Murphy.  Bellamy and Echo have been together a long time.  I'm sure they had their reasons....none of which have to do with me." 

She gave him a stern glare to solidify her statement.  Murphy chuckled and threw his hands up in surrender. 

"Whatever you say, princess." 

Clarke pursed her lips but said nothing, continuing on the path.  She had to focus on each step, trying to keep her mind from drifting off into dangerous territory.  Murphy was wrong. If Bellamy and Echo had broken up, it had nothing to do with her, it couldn't have.  She would be foolish to think she had anything to do with-

Clarke slipped on a root, her body falling backwards before Jordan grabbed her, pulling her back onto her feet. 

"You alright?" he asked, with his usual pleasant smile. He waited to remove his hands from her arms until she had steadied herself.  Clarke inhaled and exhaled, letting her head stop spinning. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good Jordan," she nodded to him, "Thanks." 

"We're here!"  Bellamy's voice bellowed back to them.  He stood at the edge of the forest waiting for them, his eyes darting between her and Jordan, glaring as if annoyed with Clarke for falling in the first place. 

They walked out into the clearing, with Asec now In full view.  Clarke's stomach twisted a little in fear.  Unsure of how they were about to be received, and scared about the new possible dangers once they did get back inside. 

It didn't take long for their fears to be answered.  A loud commotion rose from inside the gates; people yelling, feet running on the ground, and the loud creak of the metal gates beginning to open.  Bellamy was beside her again.  She could see his hands clenching and unclenching; itching for his rifle, or some other protective measure.  But he kept it slung by his side, barrel to the ground.  He knew it was better to be perceived as returning friends, not armed and suspicious foes. 

As soon as the gates were open, members of Asec and their sentries, stepped out to meet them.  Including Julius. 

"Glad to see you're all still alive," Julius called out as he approached, little warmth in his tone. 

Bellamy stepped up to meet him,

"Sir, I can explain.  We-"

Julius raised a hand, silencing him.

"A discussion for another time," Julius replied, "We have more pressing matters at the moment, impending weather being one of them." 

Julius looked up to the sky and it's approaching darkness.  He turned then to Clarke, his eyes softening. 

"Clarke, you should go to your mother," he told her. 

Clarke watched him for a moment, his eyes filled with compassion and grief. 

"Something's happened," she said.  Not a question as she could feel it, just as she could feel the wind change and pick up around her.  A storm was coming. 

"I'm very sorry to have to tell you all this," Julius spoke to the whole group, "But your friend, Kane, has died." 

Thunder rolled above them, as if echoing the bleakness of the moment, the sorrow pushing down on Clarke's withered heart. 

Everyone was silent in shock.  But Clarke had to push forward. 

"Bellamy?" her voice cracking, unable to complete the sentence.  She looked to him, hoping he would understand. 

His face had gone pale, but he  immediately went to Madi, placing his hands on her shoulders. 

"I've got her," he said, his own voice hoarse, "Go, go, Clarke." 

She didn't hesitate, picking up her tired, shaking feet into a jog towards the infirmary.  Towards her mother. 

Damn the pain in her shoulder.  Damn the droplets of rain beginning to fall onto her skin. 

Damn it all. 

 

* * *

 

 Bellamy laid awake in his bed as the storm raged on outside.  He should've been asleep, he could feel exhaustion in every bone of his body.  But after the events of the past two days, his mind refused to shut off. 

Kane was dead.  Against the doctors their best efforts, they lost the fight to bring him back, to wake him up from cryo.  He stayed with Madi and some of the others for most of the morning and afternoon, aiding where he could, giving comfort when it was needed.  Eventually, in the early evening, Clarke came to collect Madi, and they both returned to Abby, who had been nearly inconsolable.  All of them had lost people before, the pain and heartbreak was far too familiar.  But this loss felt different.  It had an air of hopelessness about it; as if the hardships of their past, the failures and losses, were going to follow them forever, whenever.  No matter the time, or galaxy.

After saving Clarke, meeting Alana and learning what they had, Kane's death was a tragedy, compounded by conspiracy and calamity.  It left Bellamy feeling more dejected and at a loss than he could ever remember.  He didn't know whether to grieve, or plan, or fight.  So instead, he laid in his bed, staring at his ceiling, counting the seconds between lightning and thunder.

1.......2.........3.....................1.......2-

A small, barely audible knock came from his door.  Bellamy looked over confused. 

The tiny knock came again.  Bellamy tossed his covers aside and walked to the door, unlocking before opening it a crack.  A short, drenched blonde spun round to face him. 

"Clarke???" he threw the door open wide, confused and concerned about why she was here.  She was soaked through, her jacket not enough protection against the heavy rains.  Her face was pale and hollow, with clumps of wet hair sticking to her forehead.  Before she could respond, Bellamy grabbed her arm and pulled her into his apartment.  She didn't resist, her body like a rag dolls. 

"I, um..I-I forgot to say thank you," she said, her teeth chattering, "For watching M-Madi today."

Bellamy closed the door behind them, leaving her dripping in his entryway as he walked over to one of his closets. 

"And you thought in the middle of the night, during a freaking hurricane was a good time to tell me??"  He mumbled, annoyed by her lack of self-preservation.  He found an extra blanket and made his way back over to her.

Clarke wrapped her shaking arms around herself.

"J-Jackson finally gave Abby s-something to help her sleep," she told him, "H-her and Madi are still at the infirmary.......b-but they're sleeping now and I just.....I couldn't...." the words caught in her throat, her body slumped over in physical and emotional exhaustion.  

There were times, very few times, that Bellamy had seen Clarke like this; worn out, overloaded, emotional.  It was a side to her, he knew only a few had witnessed.  She was so strong and serious all the time, he felt fortunate to be someone she trusted enough to be vulnerable around, as much as it hurt to see her in pain, and without a real way to fix it. 

"Come on," he whispered softly to her, reaching for her soggy coat, "Let's get you warmed up." 

She had no spirit in her left to argue, or fight him as he peeled away the coat, tossing it in a corner.  The thin t-shirt she wore underneath clung to Clarke's curves.  Bellamy might have been affected by the allurement, if she wasn't shivering.  Bellamy wrapped the blanket around her shoulders, rubbing her arms, trying to generate some heat. 

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I'm sorry to bother you, or if I woke you up.  I shouldn't ha-"

"You didn't wake me," he cut her unnecessary apology off, his voice still gentle and hushed, "I was still up.  You're not the only one having trouble sleeping tonight, Clarke." 

He gave her a weak half smile, which she returned briefly, before her face falling into sadness. 

"I-I don't know what to say to her, Bellamy," she whispered, referring to Abby, "After my father was floated, I was sent to the skybox.  I wasn't there for her then and I don't know what to do for her now."

Bellamy sighed, gently guiding her to sit on the edge of his bed, pulling up a chair to sit in front of her. 

"When my mother was floated, Octavia was sent to lockup and I was alone.  I came home everyday to an empty room," memories drifted in his mind.  He cleared his throat and continued, "I think you just being there is enough, Clarke.  You can't take away the pain, but at least you can be there so she doesn't have to go through it alone."

She looked at him, sympathy in her eyes.  Before they had ever touch the ground, their stories already had pain and loss woven into them.  Clarke nodded in understanding, her eyes falling to the floor.  For a moment, they were quiet, letting the sounds of the storm fill the silence. 

"You should get some sleep, Clarke," he said after awhile, seeing the bags under her eyes. 

Clarke flushed, shaking her head as she awkwardly moved to stand up while trying to pull the blanket off her,

"Oh, uh, right. Right, I should get going."

"NO," Bellamy replied, a little too loud.  He stood, stopping her, "I meant here.  You should try and get some sleep, here." 

Clarke's confused look turned into a shy one. 

"Oh," was all she said. 

"Unless you have some intense desire to become an icicle," he teased, trying to make her feel more comfortable.  The infirmary was a few blocks down, and Bellamy had already seen her lips turn blue from hypothermia once...... he didn't need an encore.  Plus..... it was nice..... to have her here.... to not be alone.  The enormity and danger of everything before them didn't feel so daunting with her close to him. 

Clarke gave a weak but genuine laugh, "Not particularly." 

He grinned at her, "Good choice."  Bellamy inclined his head to the small sofa on the other side of the room, "I'll take the couch," he told her. 

Clarke's brows furrowed, "No, Bellamy, I'll take the couch, I c-"

"Clarke," he interrupted her protest, his voice playful, "Get in the damn bed." 

She gave him a defiant glare but after a moment of weighing her exhaustion against the exertion of arguing with him, she conceded, sitting back down on his bed as he went to get another blanket for himself. 

Once his own bed was made, and Clarke was settled, Bellamy reached to the lamp beside him, pulling it's sting to bathe them both in the night's darkness. 

"I'm sorry you didn't get to say goodbye," Clarke said after a moment of quiet.  Her voice sad.  Bellamy sighed.  On earth, Kane had been someone he'd looked up to, someone he had trust in and someone he had learned from.  It was a loss Bellamy was going to feel deeply for a long time to come. 

"Me too," he whispered into the shadows. 

"We need to tell the others," Clarke said, "About everything." 

Bellamy nodded, even though she couldn't see him.  She was right.  It was past time their friends were informed about what Bellamy and Clarke had learned in the past few days.  It was getting too dangerous for them not to know, and frankly, he and Clarke needed the help. 

"After the funeral?" he offered. 

"Yeah," Clarke replied, her voice getting quiet as fatigue slowly overcame her, "Yeah, that sounds good." 

Another moment of quiet before she murmured, "Good night, Bellamy." 

He smiled up at his ceiling, "Good night, Clarke," he whispered back. 

It didn't take longer for Clarke's breathing to deepen, telling him she had finally found sleep.  Bellamy stayed up awhile longer, his thoughts going back and forth between what they were going to do about Julius, and what he was going to do about the woman currently occupying his bed. 

Bellamy knew he had always been drawn to Clarke.  Always.  Since their first days off of the dropship.  Since the brave princess had stood up to him, defiant and proud.  It hadn't taken long for attraction to grow into respect, which had turned into affection and evolved into one of the most meaningful relationships of his life. 

But then praimfaya happened, and Clarke was all but a painful memory to him for six years.  His mind and his heart had forgotten how much she affected him.  Finding her alive on earth had been like watching a dream unfold; amazing and wonderful, but surreal, blurry around the edges, almost unbelievable.  It wasn't until he had found her in the woods, her heart about to beat for the last time, her skin cold and grey as death stalked her, it wasn't until then that she truly come into focus.  Sharp, clear, and completely compelling.  Feelings and emotions that had been dulled with time and disuse came surging back to him.  And for once, Bellamy did not try to push them away as he had for years before, for once he allowed himself to feel everything, everything that Clarke Griffin made him feel. 

Which was a lot.  To say the least. 

It was a door he had never allowed himself to open and although he had no idea what exactly lay beyond it, he refused to close it.  He had nearly lost Clarke too many times.  Too many times fate had almost taken away any possibility he had ever dreamed about for them.  As exposed and scared as he was to acknowledge his feeling for her, Bellamy was done hiding from them.  The cruelty of their lives would not steal that away from him again. 

As sleep finally began to pull him in, Bellamy could not help but think of blue eyes, smiling back at him. 

 

                                             *                                                          *                                                    *                             

 

It was still dark when Bellamy woke.  Moonlight poured into his apartment, helping his eyes adjust.  His heart dropped when he saw the empty space in his bed.  She was gone.  Bellamy felt colder at the discovery.  He should have guessed, should have expected her-

"I used to know them all," Clarke's voice came out of the darkness.  Bellamy sat up to see her standing in front of his window, wrapped in his blanket, staring at a patch of sky where the storm clouds had parted briefly to let the moon and stars shine. 

"Every constellation, every planet," she continued as Bellamy got up from the couch and made his way to stand beside her, "My dad would spend hours showing me, teaching me."

He looked at her, replying softly, "You'll learn them again." 

Clarke shook her head, "But it won't be the same." 

Bellamy sighed and turned his eyes to the stars, "No.....it won't." 

"Nothing will, I imagine," she said, her voice mournful.  He had no words of comfort, because she was right.  Nothing was going to be the same. 

"I'm so scared, Bellamy," she told him," I'm scared about what will happen to Abby, about Julius, about our friends.  And I'm absolutely terrified about how I'm going to keep Madi safe through all of this."

Bellamy swallowed and replied purposefully, "We'll find a way to protect them, Clarke.....I promise."  She needed to know she wasn't alone, not in this, or in anything. 

Clarke turned to face him, the light glistening on the silent tears falling down her cheek. 

"Do you think we'll ever stop losing the people we care about?" she asked him, her voice unsteady. 

Bellamy stared at her, his heart on fire.  He raised his hand, gently wiping a tear from her face.  His fingers trailed to her shoulder, outlining the bandage where her bullet wound still healed.

"God I hope so," he whispered, the only words he could honestly say. 

Surprising him, Clarke took his hand from her shoulder, entwining it in hers as she took a step closer to him.  The world stopped, as hauntingly beautiful blue eyes looked up at him. The moment felt more intimate than anything he'd experienced before.  

"Promise me something, Bellamy," she asked quietly, her chest brushing against his. 

"Anything," he whispered, utterly transfixed.  A single last tear fell from her chin. 

 

"Don't ever die."

 

An impossible promise.  But one that made his heart leap at her asking it.  Bellamy closed the remaining space between them, not caring about the unspoken line that had always separated them.  His fingers, feather light, cupped her cheek in one hand, bowing his head to touch hers. 

"I'll do my best, princess." 

Clarke's free hand came up to touch his chest, the blanket that was around her fell to the floor.  Neither of them moved to retrieve it. 

"Bellamy," she murmured, calling to him, calling to his soul.  Her hand slid up to reach behind his neck.  Bellamy's heart beat so loud, he was sure she could hear it.  Clarke's hand pulled down gently on his neck, and it was all the encouragement he needed. 

"Clarke," he breathed, angling his lips to meet her own.

 

A tremendous crack of thunder ripped through the air, causing them both to jump.  The thunder vibrated through the building, causing the lights above them to flicker on and off. 

When the storm's incredibly inconvenient song finally abated, Bellamy and Clarke stood a few feet apart, their entangled hands the only things still touching.  Their eyes met and Bellamy watched as the realization of what exactly had-or almost had- happened between them hit her.  Her face flushed and she expediently removed her hand from his. 

"I, uh, I umm, I should go," she mumbled, blinking a few times before turning to leave, "Madi...Madi will be wondering where I am and..."

"Clarke," he called out, desperate for the past ten seconds of his life to rewind themselves. 

She ignored him, picking up her discarded and still sopping jacket. 

"I-uh... W-we'll talk later, Bellamy," she stammered, not looking at him, "Madi's waiting." 

She opened the door, one foot already through. 

"CLARKE!" He yelled at her this time. 

"I-I have to go.  I'm sorry," she said, just before closing the door behind her. 

The silence of the room was overpowering.  Something had just slipped through his fingers, something precious and amazing and life altering.  It had slipped through his fingers, and walked out his door. Leaving him alone, confused, and bereft. 

 

_Son of a bitch._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me!!!!! :D I do love my cliff hangers, I know. Hope you all enjoyed that chapter, and weren't too confused by all the new plot twists! 
> 
> I have some amazing friends on twitter that are so supportive of this work, it has really encouraged me to write the absolute best story I can. If anyone is interested, I'll leave my twitter handle at the end of this note. I often give my followers some sneak peeks to the next chapter as I'm writing it, so follow me and enjoy the tidbits!!! :D 
> 
> Love you all and thank you for reading <3
> 
> @felix_felicis07


	4. Vici pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited return!!! So sorry on the delay my loves. Had some serious writers block followed by life happening. Tried to make this next chapter extra long and just...well extra, to make up for the wait. Hope you all enjoy it!!! THANK YOU FOR READING!!!

 

"I'm sorry, what?"  Raven asked, shaking her head in disbelief. 

Bellamy and Clarke stood in front of their friends, all of whom were looking at them as if they'd both completely lost it. 

Clarke sighed, and repeated herself, "Julius is Cadogan's son, Asec is a Second Dawn colony and they've been lying to us since we got here." 

"And Julius' father killed Becca Pramheda?"  Echo asked.  She sat in the back, eyes far away, not looking at either her or Bellamy.  He and Clarke shared a momentary glance before he cleared his throat,

"That's correct." 

"So, Julius is the one who shot at you?"  Emori asked, her voice and expression still uncertain as she looked back and forth between the two of them. 

"That, among many other things is something we'd like to find out," Clarke replied. 

"How the hell are we going to do that?"  Murphy's harsh voice chimed in. 

"Proof," Bellamy answered. 

He and Clarke had barely spoken in the past three days, since she'd fled the scene of his apartment.  She had no idea what to say to him, whether she should apologize for her forwardness that night, or her departure later on.  She suspected both.  But she had yet to find the courage.  Here though, standing in front of awaiting friends-family, the awkwardness took a back seat, allowing them to seamlessly address the group, together as a team. 

Clarke stepped closer to continue, "Alana gave us details about Julius and Asec.  If we can find them, it would verify her side of the story and give us a better idea of what to do next..... and of who to trust."

"The cryo chamber," Raven whispered almost to herself.  Her brown eyes snapped to Clarke's, "You want to find the cryo chamber Alana said he's been using." 

Clarke nodded, "We were hoping you could help with that." 

"You really think finding the vampire's coffin is a good idea?"  Miller asked, his eyebrows raised.  Bellamy shrugged in earnest.

"It's the most concrete thing we have to go on right now." 

"We're open to suggestions," Clarke added humbly.  There was no room for pride here, they needed any and all help they could get. 

"What about the Commander?  Surely we should be asking guidance from her,"  Echo asked.  Clarke could feel her eyes narrowing on the woman before she could stop herself.  But it was Bellamy who answered,

" _Madi_ , is working with Gaia to try and see if they can make any sense of her .....visions...." he stumbled for a word, "If they are meant to warn us or tell us about something, they'll find out." 

"Finding the cryo chamber should be simple enough, but then what?" Raven asked, "What do we do if we find it?  Or if we don't?" 

"Sounds like a revolt or run type of situation to me," Murphy said leaning back in his chair. 

Clarke frowned, but didn't argue, "If we find the cryo chamber then we will at least know that Julius has been lying to us, and that we aren't safe here." 

"I say we take the city,"  Murphy said with a grin, "Its not like they have the fire power to stop us." 

Jordan spoke up for the first time, "The bullet Clarke took for me says otherwise," he replied sharply, then turned to Bellamy and Clarke, "What can we do to help?" 

Bellamy sighed, "Until we can find the proof we need, just... try and act normal?" he said honestly.

"And be on the look out for anyone watching or following you," Clarke added.  They really couldn't be too careful.  It was a dangerous and fragile game they were about to play. 

"Raven, what do you need?"  Bellamy looked to her. 

"Time," she replied, "And a computer," Raven looked to Shaw who had stayed quiet beside her, "I could use your help." 

He nodded, "You have it." 

"Alright then," Clarke said, sensing the end of their meeting, "In the meantime, everyone else stay close and try not to draw attention to yourselves."  

Nodding and murmurs came from the group as their friends slowly dispersed from the room.  Things to do, lies to unveil.  Tension and unease rippled through the air, but not because of the meeting, but because as the doors closed, Bellamy and Clarke were now alone in the empty room. 

It had taken three days for the storm to finally pass, and another day to help her mother lay Kane to rest, and in all that time, Clarke had yet to find the words to say to Bellamy.  So she stood there, like a moron, frozen to where her feet currently stood.  She glared down at them, as if they were somehow responsible for the awkward situation she now found herself in, and the one that she put herself in by leaving so abruptly from his apartment that night...... from walking into his apartment to begin with. 

But that night, as her feet led her to Bellamy's rooms, she wasn't thinking about consequences, or insecurities or complications.  All she was thinking about was how sad and alone she had felt, and how much she needed- wanted to be near him. 

But then everything had gone sideways.  Clarke let her emotions about everything that had happened that day and her feelings for Bellamy get the better of her.  Being near him, with his soft eyes on her, and his gentle hand stroking away her tears.... it had all been so intoxicating.  Her cheek still burned where he had held it, she could still remember the feel of his breath on her lips, her hand on his chest, just before-

"How's your mom doing?"  Bellamy's deep voice saved her from her spiraling thoughts.  Clarke blinked, mentally shaking herself from her memories before clearing her throat and replying,

"As good as can be expected, I think," she told him honestly.  He nodded, fidgeting with the upholstery of the chair he stood behind. 

"It was a nice ceremony," Bellamy said, his voice soft.  Clarke looked back down at her feet, not wanting for him to see the pain in her expression. 

It had been hard to say goodbye to Kane, but harder still to see her mother lose someone so vital to her happiness.  Traditionally in Asec, the deceased were cremated, but Abby had insisted.  So, beneath a beautiful, enormous tree, just outside of the city's walls, the Traveler's Blessing was spoken, tears were shed, and Kane was laid to rest.  And with him, Clarke thought, perhaps a tiny piece of each of them. 

"Yes, it was," Clarke replied quietly.

"And Madi?" he asked. 

"Still with Gaia," she said, "I'll let you know if they find anything." 

Bellamy nodded quietly, letting silence fill the room again.  There was a long, awkward pause before Bellamy inhaled, rubbing his hands across his face. 

"Okay then," he started towards the room's exit. 

"Where are you going?" Clarke called after him, hating how pathetically shy her voice sounded.  Bellamy didn't stop. 

"I'm leaving," he replied, "A concept you're familiar with, I believe." 

Clarke felt the sting of his remark.  Sharp and painful.  

"Bellamy," she almost whispered, her voice touching on pleading.  Surprisingly, Bellamy stopped and turned to her, his eyes darker than usual. 

"What Clarke?" The pinpoint of his gaze made her feel exposed, vulnerable.  She shifted nervously, ringing her hands.

"Can we talk?" She finally asked, sheepishly. 

Bellamy's brows shot up at that, hands gripping his hips. 

"Now you want to talk?  You're sure you're not too busy avoiding me every chance you get?" 

"It's been a busy week, Bellamy," she said, knowing how defensive she sounded, but trying to convince him and herself, she continued, "With my mom, a-and the funeral and trying to lay low after that shit excuse we gave Julius when we got back, and Madi's visions......I haven't had a lot of free time on my hands." 

Bellamy's eyes narrowed, "Right," he said, half grunting his reply.  He inhaled deeply, taking a step closer to Clarke, making her skin begin to flush and tingle.  He continued, his voice controlled but verging on anger, "You know, Clarke, if you don't want to talk about the other night, if you just want to pretend like nothing happened, then fine," he nearly spat out before leveling her with his eyes, "But don't lie to me." 

"It's not that simple!" Clarke said, her own frustration growing. 

"Maybe not, but it _is_ true," he replied, unwilling to let her dodge the statement. 

Clarke shook her head as she felt the conversation getting out of hand.  She gathered herself, wiling herself to look at him,

"Look, I'm sorry about the other night," she told him, "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, or if-"

"Uncomfortable??" Bellamy's voice rose, echoing in the large room.  He looked at her in both shock and agitation.  Bellamy stepped even closer to her as he spoke, "What made me uncomfortable, Clarke, was watching you leave in the middle of the night, during a storm, with a goddamn, barely healed bullet wound in your shoulder," he said, gesturing to the still present bandage, "What made me uncomfortable was seeing you leave every room I've entered in the past four days.  Jesus, Clarke, even now you can barely bring yourself to look at me.  THAT is what makes me uncomfortable." 

He finished, his hand running over his face.  Clarke had underestimated just how much her departure that night, and her subsequent neglect had affected Bellamy.  She had her reasons for not wanting to approach him earlier, but none of them held any weight if it meant she had hurt Bellamy in the process.  Clarke's heart pounded in her ears.  If she talked about what happened between them, then it would make it real, not just some figment of her imagination.  It might change things drastically for her already uncertain relationship with the person she once considered her best friend.  Nothing about this was easy. 

"I'm sorry," was all she could bring herself to say.  It was true and honest at least. 

Bellamy sighed.  He was close enough now that if he wanted to, he could reach out and touch her.  But he didn't.  Instead, he spoke, his voice far too gentle,

"I don't want you to be sorry, Clarke," he told her, "I just want to know why.  Why you felt the need to leave that night, and why you've avoided me since?" 

Why indeed.  It wasn't an unreasonable request by any means, but how could she explain something so significant and yet confusing that she hardly knew the answer herself? 

Bellamy's head dropped, "Did-" he cleared his throat, "Did I do something?  Did I-"

"NO!" Clarke nearly yelled, her hand involuntarily going to his arm.  Of course he would think he had done something, that somehow, everything negative happening would be his fault. 

"No," she said again quietly, shaking her head, "You didn't do anything wrong, Bellamy." 

They stared at each other, a sea of emotions and unspoken words between them. 

"Then why?" he asked at a whisper, all traces of anger gone. 

Clarke realized her hand still rested on his arm.  Feeling her cheeks flush, she shyly removed it, before clearing her throat and replying,

"It's complicated, Bellamy." 

"I'm aware," he replied, with his usual half smirk she loved so much, "But that doesn't mean you get to leave every time it gets complicated." 

Clarke looked down, nodding, "You're right," she told him sincerely, "It won't happen again.......I promise." 

Bellamy sighed, watching her closely, probably gauging whether or not she was sincere, whether or not he could really trust that promise.  She wanted him to.  So badly. 

"Okay then," he said softly.  She looked up at him, unsure what to say or do next.  

But the sound of someone entering the room prevented her from finding out.  

"Clarke?" Gaia's soft voice called from the entrance.  If Gaia was seeking her out, then it must've been important.  She turned to face the approaching woman. 

"Everything alright?" she asked Gaia.  She could still feel Bellamy's body close to hers, telling her he hadn't left at Gaia's entrance.  

Gaia's all too knowing gaze darted between Clarke and Bellamy, "I have some information," her eyes met Clarke's then, "About Madi's visions. 

Clarke's heart skipped in maternal worry, her voice coming out fast and panicked, "Is she okay? Does she need any help?  Is she-"

"She's alright," Gaia's hand rested on her shoulder in reassurance, "She's resting now in your rooms.  I thought that would be best after how tiring the process was." 

Clarke gave her a weak nod.  _The process_.  An oversimplified way of describing a child with an A.I implanted in her, searching for memories of people who were somehow _inside_ that A.I.  Clarke took a deep breath in and exhaled, preparing herself. 

"If you're here then you must have found something," she said. 

Gaia nodded, "We did."

"I should go," Bellamy's wary voice called out from behind her.

"NO," "No," Clarke and Gaia said at the same time.  Gaia tried to hide a small smile at Clarke's reaction to Bellamy's possible departure, but she kept her thoughts to herself and continued,

"I believe what information I have to offer, will be important to you both," Gaia said.  Clarke looked back at Bellamy who didn't meet her eyes, but took a step closer to the two women. 

Clarke turned back to Gaia and nodded, "Go ahead." 

Gaia's face remained calm as she folded her hands in front of her.  As unnerving as it was for Clarke to have Madi as the 'Commander', she knew how serious Gaia took her role as Fleimkepa, and that she was invested in Madi's safety just as much as Clarke was. 

"First, I can tell you with almost complete certainty that it is only Becca Pramheda who is trying to communicate with Madi," Gaia explained. 

Clarke and Bellamy exchanged glances. 

"How can you be sure of that?"  Bellamy asked, his face lined with concentration and worry. 

Gaia's lips softened into a near smile, "Because it is Becca Pramheda's memories that are being shown to Madi.  Memories only the First Commander would have." 

Clarke's mind flashed to Madi crying out in the back of the rover, as Becca's gruesome death was displayed in her mind. 

"She's done that before, shown Madi memories," Clarke told Gaia, "They were not exactly pleasant." 

"The Commander is strong," Gaia told Clarke, referring to Madi, "The memories did not cause her pain or distress, I promise you."

Clarke nodded, itching to go and comfort the girl, to make sure what Gaia was telling her was true and that she was alright.  As if sensing her unease, she felt Bellamy step beside her, his shoulder nearly touching hers.  For a brief moment, she felt the warmth of his hand on her back, but it was gone before she could be certain.

"What memories _did_ Becca show Madi?" he asked, returning Clarke's focus back to what was necessary. 

"Becca Pramheda gave Madi her eyes, and her body, so she could see what Becca had seen and experience her memories as if they were Madi's own," Gaia explained, "The first vision, Madi described herself as being happy, working in what she thought was a laboratory, laughing and talking with someone."

"Did she say who?" Clarke asked, her nerves on edge. 

"No," Gaia shook her head, "But Madi believed that this was one of Becca's first experiments in creating nightblood, "the Flamkepa continued without prompting, "Madi was then shown a memory of her-Becca- on Polaris, injecting herself with the nightblood and closing a suitcase which contained several more vials of the serum.  No one else was in that vision, nor did Becca speak during it."

That information confused Clarke, wondering why Becca would show Madi that when they all knew how she created nightblood and why.  But she kept her thoughts to herself, knowing there would be many more to follow.  She gestured to Gaia to continue. 

"The location of the next memory, Madi recognized on her own," Gaia said, her voice still calm, but Clarke noticed her hands tighten around themselves, "The Commander described this memory as having taken place inside the bunker."

"The bunker?" Bellamy questioned, as confused as she was. 

"Yes.  Madi saw herself, as Becca, sitting in front of a computer.  She said she could feel Becca become nervous and scared as she discovered a file on the computer and began searching through it.  Madi said she could not read what was on the screen, except for the name of the file that Becca had located...... A file called, 'Level Thirteen.'"

 _Level Thirteen_.  The number itself held some weight to Clarke.  Skaikru were the thirteenth clan in Lexa's coalition, Polaris was the thirteenth space station that was blown from the sky because Becca refused to destroy A.L.I.E 2..... but if this was something Becca had found in the Second Dawn bunker, something that Cadogan did not want her finding, Clarke didn't have a clue. 

Gaia continued, "Becca was then discovered.  Madi said there was yelling and arguing between herself and the man who found her going through the file." 

"Cadogan," Bellamy murmured beside her.

"I believe so," Gaia nodded at his assessment, "Becca Pramheda's memories then brought Madi back to the scene of her death," Gaia looked to Clarke, "Which I believe you are already acquainted with."

Clarke's heart raced hearing that Madi had to relive that horrific night. 

"But Madi's okay?" he asked, needing the repeated reassurance. 

"She is well, I promise" Gaia nodded, "She was given one final memory of that night before the Pramheda released her." 

For the first time since she arrived, Gaia looked uneasy.  She paused, collecting herself and her thoughts. 

"Which was?" Clarke asked, feeling as if a grey shadow was hovering over Gaia's next words.  The Fleimkepa looked up at them both, her composure mostly returned. 

"Madi heard what the man- Cadogan- and the others called out as they brought Becca to the pyre," Gaia swallowed, "Over and over again, Madi said they chanted.... Blood must have blood." 

The words took Clarke aback.  Those were Grounder words.  Sacred Grounder words.   They had lived and died by that ethos.  To hear that it had came from Cadogan, from the man who violently murdered the first Commander was....unsettling... to say the least. 

"I-I don't understand," Bellamy's gruff and confused voice said.  Gaia shook her head, looking despondent herself.  Clarke couldn't imagine how this information was affecting her.  Gaia's life's work was devoted to the flame and it's teaching's... Blood must have blood supposedly being one of them.

"I do not understand either I'm afraid," she told them honestly.   

Clarke's mind was spinning with questions and worries.  She turned to the woman, "Thank you Gaia for helping Madi with this," she told her genuinely, "Would you mind at all, going to check on her?  I'll follow you up in a moment."

 It was the politest way she could think to ask Gaia to leave so her and Bellamy could try and sort this out and what exactly was their next step after hearing all of this.

Gaia tucked her head slightly, almost in a bow, "Of course.  I hope what the Commander was shown will come to help." 

Clarke gave her a weak smile before she turned to leave them.  They were quiet for several moments, the energy in the room so far from what is was not ten minutes prior.  Clarke knew Bellamy was thinking and trying to connect the dots just a much as she was. 

"Can I ask you something?" Bellamy's deep voice still behind her.  Clarke turned to face him, giving him a small nod in permission. 

"When we were in Polis and you took the Flame, was it like that?  Was it just messages in the form of memories?" 

It wasn't the question she had anticipated.  Clarke took a moment, leaning to half sit on the couch beside her. 

"No," she said, "No, it wasn't like that at all for me.  The Commanders did not come to me until I was in the City of Light."

She wasn't sure where he was going with this, but she would answer him as honestly as he seemed to be asking. 

"And then?  In the City of Light, did they speak to you? Or show you memories then?" 

Lexa's beautiful green eyes flashed in her mind, faded now as time had past, but still so recognizable and still a memory she would cherish.  But she knew that's not what- or who- Bellamy was referring to.

"Becca was there if that's what you're asking," she told him.

"And she didn't tell you anything about this?  Or show you something the way she showed Madi?"  Bellamy asked her, his eyes half on her, half focused somewhere else in his mind. 

"No, she only spoke to me about the nuclear plants, and even then, she didn't communicate through memories.  She was standing in front of me, as real as you are.  I never saw what she saw or felt what she felt like Madi is describing." 

Bellamy frowned at that. 

"Why do you ask?"

Bellamy shifted his weight back and forth,

"Just wondering how reliable these visions are, these memories that a woman who died hundreds of years ago are really something we should be putting our faith into," he told her honestly. 

Clarke inhaled and exhaled, understand his concern.  But she had seen first hand in the City of Light the kind of person Becca was. 

"Becca helped me Bellamy," she explained, "She wanted me to stop A.L.I.E, she wanted me to have hope that we could find another way to survive.......I don't think that person would want us to fail now." 

Bellamy sighed, coming to sit beside her on what remained of the couch's arm. 

"Well, then if what she's showing Madi is true...... Second Dawn might be even more dangerous than we thought," he looked at her then, eyes forlorn, "We're not safe here, Clarke." 

Clarke felt her heart sink at the words.  She knew he was right, but it still hurt to hear out loud.  This place was supposed to be their salvation; a chance at peace and prosperity, to have better and do better. 

But nothing had ever been that simple. 

"So what do we do?" She asked him softly, trying and failing not to sound so tired.  

"We leave," Bellamy said, flatly. 

Clarke frowned at his answer, "Before Raven and Shaw even have a chance to find the cryo bed?" she asked him.  Leaving was a decision they couldn't come back from. 

Bellamy shrugged, "Julius is Bill Cadogan's father.  If Cadogan was capable of what Becca is telling us, that he was so determined to keep whatever secret Becca found, he was willing to murder her and use that act as some sort of basis for grounder religion.....who the hell knows what his son could be capable of."

"What do you think she found?" Clarke asked him, confusion still haunting her, "Level thirteen... does that ring any bells?" 

"Nothing comes to mind.  Clearly she found something Cadogan didn't want his followers to find out.  Something he was willing to kill for."

They were both quiet for a moment, contemplating their options. 

A thought occurred to Clarke,

"What about Alana?  Do you think maybe she knows something?" she asked him. 

"I think she knows more than she's told us," he said, "Why?"

"I think we need to talk to her, see what more she's willing to say," Clarke said, the wheels in her mind finally starting to move. 

"And how do you suppose we do that?  Send a smoke signal?  Carrier pigeon?" Bellamy replied sarcastically. 

 

"I have an idea."

 

* * *

 

 "Come on in, Clarke," Julius called to her as she stood in the doorway of his spacious office. 

"Good morning, Julius," Clarke said, attempting to sound calm and not reveal the nervousness brewing in her stomach. 

"Please, take a seat," he gestured to the chair opposite him at his desk, a nearly genuine smile on his face. 

Clarke complied, sitting herself down with a nod of thanks. 

"I was told you wanted to speak with me," Julius said, "What can I do for you, Clarke?"

Clarke resisted the urge to fidget, instead giving him her best casual smile. 

"I have a request to make," she told him. 

Julius let the moment linger, eyeing her for a fraction longer than what would be considered normal.  Clarke didn't think for one second she was fooling him.  Her goal, was to lean into the game he had started since they first arrived, since he first lied to them.  

"Go on," Julius finally replied. 

Clarke, purposefully making her voice half friendly, half business, continued. 

"As I am sure you're aware, some of my people have had a difficult time transitioning here in Asec," Clarke then bowed her head, using whatever leverage she had at her disposal, "Especially after our recent loss." 

Julius sighed, in apparent sadness, "I wish there was more we could have done to help." 

Clarke saw the opening and took it, "You did help," she told him, all sincerity, "You allowed my mother and our people to mourn in our own way, even when it went against your own traditions here.  Kane was laid to rest the way he would have wanted because of you." 

Julius' eyes dropped then, "Well-"

Clarke cut him off, pushing her point forward, "And it is just that understanding and generosity I've come to impose upon again, for you to indulge your new citizen once more." 

Julius leaned back in his chair, arms crossing over his chest. 

"And how exactly do you wish me to do that?" 

Clarke inhaled, "I would like to request permission to take a group outside the gates, for a hunting party." 

Julius raised an eyebrow. 

"A hunting party?" he repeated, without enthusiasm. 

Clarke nodded, "Many of my people have lived their lives in the woods, in rual settings, not the inside of an enclosed modern city.  The rest, have spent years either trapped in space or beneath the ground, unable to enjoy our earth," Clarke sighed, "They are going stir crazy, sir.  They need to see that there is more to this beautiful world than what's inside these gates..... they're suffocating."

Julius' gaze did not waver, but one finger tapped against his arm in contemplation.  After a moment, he leaned forward, letting his arms rest against his desk. 

"The last time you went beyond those gates, Clarke, you did not fair so well.  I'm surprised you want to take that risk again so soon."

This is where Clarke knew the conversation would become tricky.  When her and the others had returned to Asec after spending over 24 hours away, they had to tell Julius something.  They had hastily told him that Clarke and Jordan had become lost on their walk.  The other had left to go find them, unsure if Julius or the people of Asec would be willing to help.  Clarke had been very careful not to show her wound in pubic, hoping Julius would never have to know and subsequently ask just how she had acquired it.  So far, he hadn't, but the rest of the story was pitifully put together, and full of easy to find holes.  However, due to Kane's untimely death, Julius seemed to have found it an inappropriate time to question the group any further. 

Until perhaps now. 

Clarke, thankfully, had come prepared, anticipating this exact exchange. 

"I _don't_ wish to take the risk," she replied, shaking her head in false exasperation, "Which is why I'm here asking for your help." 

Julius frowned, a small glint of confusion in his eyes.  Perfect.

 "I have told you before, Clarke, you and your people are free to come and go as they please.  As much as I may wish to caution you against going, you do not need my permission to do so." 

Clarke shook her head, "That's not what I was referring to." 

"What then," he asked. 

Clarke inhaled, "My last adventure outside the gates taught me that we don't know how to survive here.  As much as my people could use... a change of scenery, my experience tells me that it is unsafe to do so.  Not without some assistance and guidance." 

Realization dawned on Julius. 

"You're not asking for permission, you're asking for an escort." 

Clarke nodded, not giving away how grateful she was that he was playing right into her scheme.  Clarke knew the likelihood of her group leaving again without being watched and tracked was slim to none.  This was, their trackers would be in plain sight and Julius could feel more at ease, thinking he was still in charge. If given power and control, few were likely to ask why.  That was her hope, anyways.  Meanwhile, Clarke and Bellamy would sneak off into the woods and find Alana. 

"Your people know this planet.  Mine don't.  I don't want anyone else getting lost or worse because of that ignorance," she told Julius. 

The man across from her exhaled deeply.  Clarke waited with baited breath for his response, to see if the rouse had indeed worked. 

Julius took out a tablet from one of the drawers in his desk.  He scanned through data that was too far away for Clarke to read.  Finally, he spoke.

"I can spare two guards tomorrow morning," he told her, "If that suits." 

Clarke let out an exaggerated sigh of relief, "That would be perfect, sir.  Thank you, truly." 

Not waiting for an invitation, Clarke promptly got up to leave.  The sooner the better. 

"But Clarke," Julius' deep voice stopped her, "You may not find the type of game you're looking for out there." 

Something, in his words, in the way his eyes seemed to bore into her, made Clarke feel uneasy.  But she repressed the feeling and smiled at him.

"If you knew what we hunted on earth- and what hunted us- you'd have a little more faith....sir." 

Julius have her a small grin at her veiled reply, "I have no doubt," he said, "Good luck then tomorrow, Clarke." 

She gave him a last nod, "Thank you again, Julius." 

She turned to the door and left, eager to escape that man's intelligent eyes.  She had to stop herself from running down the hallways, wanting to tell Bellamy and the others as soon as she could.  Their plan was now in motion.  She hoped she had given them an opportunity, and not doomed them all. 

She'd have to wait till tomorrow to find out. 

 

* * *

 

 Bellamy looked to the sky, for the second time that morning, only to find the two suns still hiding beneath dark grey clouds.   As the group made their way deeper into the woods, the suns' absence gave the illusion that it was much later in the day than it was. 

The darkened atmosphere set Bellamy on edge.  Not that he needed another reason to be, as he looked across the group to their two escorts, both of which were quiet, with severe expressions and armed with the first guns he'd seen from Aurora Secundi. 

He and Clarke had gathered a group that they trusted enough to make a modest, but not suspicious looking hunting party of ten.  Twelve counting the guards.  Himself and Clarke, Madi, Gaia, Echo, Emori, Jackson, Miller, Murphy, and Jordan all slowly and quietly made their way through the dense forest, half of them doing their best to act like they were actually tracking something.  They all knew the plan, and it's objective.  Thankfully, they were all playing their parts well, even Echo, who was walking along side Emori.

  He kept a safe distance from her, not wanting to risk any substantial interaction.  Since she had barely looked his way, since they broke up, he figured she felt the same.  He was grateful, however, for her participation.  They did not want to alarm everyone about what they had learned and their suspicions, but they needed a large enough group so that when he and Clarke sneaked off, their temporary disappearance would not be as easy to notice. 

"Clarke, look!" Madi's cheerful voice drew his attention.  They young girl, with Gaia trailing behind her, came up to Clarke, holding something in her hand. 

"Just like in the Valley," she told her guardian, rested and well after her session with Gaia yesterday.  Clarke leaned over and peered into the palms of The Commander, to find a handful of beautiful crimson berries. 

"You're right, they do look similar," Clarke told her," You should bring some back for Abby." 

Madi's smile brightened, giving Clarke a nod and venturing back out to find more.  Clarke had insisted she come, too afraid of leaving her in Asec, with Julius around.  Not after everything they'd learned, and everything Julius' own father had done to the first Commander.  For now, Asec seemed to still have no idea about the flame, or A.L.I.E 2, but that didn't mean Madi was safe. 

All the more reason to see Alana, and get some truth about this planet and its inhabitants. 

Back in the city, they had left Raven and Shaw to work on that as well.  As much as Bellamy felt like talking to Alana was the right move, so was continuing to try and find that damn cryo chamber.  They needed as many pieces to the puzzle as they could find.  Their survival depended on it. 

"We're getting close," Clarke said in a low voice beside him.  Bellamy pulled himself from his thoughts and observed their surroundings.  She was right.  Their plan was to get them close to where they found Clarke, and then venture away from the group, knowing that it was more likely for Alana to find them then the other way around.  It was a risky plan, but a good one.  As most of Clarke's usually were. 

She came to a stop, making to 'inspect' a plant near the trail.  Her shoulder brushed his chest as she turned.

"I'd say about another half a mile, what do you think?" she whispered, as if talking tot the plant.  Bellamy took a quick glance in their proceeding direction, then bowed his head closer to hers. 

"Quarter of a mile there's more trees, better coverage," he told her.  If they were going to slip away from the group and the guards, they couldn't very well do it out in the open. 

He watched Clarke's eyes flicker from the trail, back to the plant. 

"On your signal then," she whispered once more to the plant before turning back and continuing on.  He followed a moment after. 

If he let himself think about it too much, being around Clarke was becoming more and more difficult as their relationship became more and more complicated.  Much like the sky above them, where they stood with each other was filled with nothing but grey uncertainty.  Possibilities and concerns, hopes and fears, assumptions and awkwardness.  What made it all worse was that he didn't know what the hell to do about it.  Their last real conversation gave him comfort in some aspects, anxiety in others.  And as it always went, there was a possibly life-threatening crisis underway that prevented them from discussing anything before getting interrupted with more bad news. 

Thankfully, they both seemed comfortable enough working together, despite the undercurrent of tension.  They were a team.  He wished he could explain how, after years apart, after betrayals and hurt, it still felt as natural as breathing to trust her, to read her, and to be able share whatever burden they had with each other.  Maybe to others looking from the outside it didn't make sense, but to Bellamy, there wasn't anyone else who knew him as profoundly as she did.  There was no veil, no pretense between them.  They saw each other as they were, their flaws and history laid bare.  It's what made it so easy to lead with her, but also made it so damn difficult to just _be_ with her. 

The trail began to climb upward, rocks and roots becoming more and more frequent.  The forest slowly, subtly, closed in ever so slightly around them.  The trail was still more than passable, but with the trees making the already meager light more difficult to shine through, and the obstacles requiring more mental effort, it was just the place to disappear. 

Bellamy slowed his march down to a walk, and let out a soft cough.  A signal that alerted the others and Clarke what they were about to do.  Up at the front of the group, closer to where the guards were, Murphy began picking up small stones and tossing them into the brush.  Another signal, that he heard him, and also a way to create a bit of noise for Clarke and Bellamy to slide into the forest. 

Clarke was already beginning to move to the edge of the trail, but Bellamy still took her gently by the arm and with the guards turned away, together they quietly made their way to the tree line. 

After years of living, hunting, and surviving on earth, Clarke stepped with more surety and stealth than he did, but he could still tell she held her breath until they made it a dozen or so yards into the forest.  They both breathed a sigh of relief. 

But relief was short lived, as Bellamy heard some shouting in the direction they had just came from. 

"There were two others," he could hear a guard speaking forcefully, "Where did they go?" 

For a moment it was quiet again before Bellamy heard some rustling in the and the sound of boots marching on dirt.  Bellamy pulled Clarke with him against a large tree, hoping to maybe keep them out of sight of whoever was approaching. 

"Hey, man come on, you don't want to do that," Murphy's voice called out, "Those two, are probably just trying to steal a _private moment_ , if you know what I mean," he let out an arrogant half laugh, "I wouldn't want to intrude if I were you." 

Bellamy gave his head a tiny shake, both thanking and cursing Murphy at the same time.  His ex heard that.  _Madi_   heard that.  He did not dare look at Clarke. 

Another pause in the conversation below, before the one guard gave out a grunt,

"We'll just see about that." 

Bellamy could hear the pivot of his boot against the ground, then, alarmingly, the sound became muffled, as the guard had entered the forest, coming in their direction. 

"Fuck," Bellamy muttered, frantically looking for some cover, or something to hit the guard with, or-

"Bellamy, I am really sorry about this," Clarke said beside him.  Bellamy turned to her.

"Clarke, w-" but before he could finish whatever the hell he was going to say, Clarke was stripping off her jacket, and then her shirt, revealing an abundance of bare flesh that rendered Bellamy immobile.  If he had time to argue or say something he would have, but an instant later Clarke had moved herself in front of him, placing her body on his, his back hitting the tree behind him.  She curled her arms around him, one hand at his shoulder, the other burying itself in his unruly curls.  A thunderous jolt of shock and pleasure rippled through him as Clarke's lips pressed gently into the curve of his neck.  Despite the astounding circumstances, Bellamy could not stop a quiet and involuntary moan from escaping.  Clarke dragged her lips across his neck, kissing a different spot with more ardor.  Instinct and desire took over at that point.  Bellamy wrapped an arm across Clarke's exposed lower back, pulling her even closer to him, her feet now barely touching the ground.  His other hand mirrored her own, as he found the nape of her neck, blonde waves everywhere, and pulled her head to him so he could breath her in.  Clarke sighed against his neck in approval, then continued to melt even further against him.  She was absolutely intoxicating.  She had to be, because Bellamy felt damn near drunk. 

So much so, that when the guard finally showed himself, Bellamy didn't have to fake his ferocity. 

"Oh, uh, um ex-" the guard fumbled for words at the scene he had just walked in on. 

Bellamy broke off from Clarke, pushing her in behind him as if to shield her from the guards eyes... which wasn't entirely untrue. 

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" He bellowed at the guard, fire in his eyes. 

The guard was taken aback, stumbling over a rock, as he mumbled an awkward answer. 

"Well, I uh, you two were gone and uh,I-"

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Bellamy yelled, feeling his anger fade as he watched the guard's face go bright red.  But he needed the guard to leave, so he pressed his point, "NOW!!!" He made a show of stepping up to the guard, Clarke still clinging to his back, acting embarrassed of the whole situation.  Which he knew, considering she was the creator of their situation, she most definitely was not. 

The guard coughed his apologies, and hastily left, tripping again on his way back to the others.  Bellamy waited until the guard was out of sight before turning back to Clarke.  Their bodies still unnecessarily close, Bellamy let his hands fall to her hips.

"Is he gone?" she asked, trying to look over her shoulder.

Bellamy couldn't help but look at the beautiful woman before him, letting his gaze trace a few of her unforgettable features.  He tightened the grip on her hips by a fraction,

"I'm not sure I want to answer that, yet."

Clarke rolled her eyes at him, but he saw the flush in her cheeks before she untangled herself from him, moving to retrieve her discarded clothing. He'd take that as a win. 

With her shirt and jacket back on, Clarke motioned towards the direction they had set out on.

"Shall we?" she asked. 

Bellamy gave her a nod, and she turned to continue their walk, him just a few steps behind. 

"That was smart," he told her, keeping voice at a low but audible level.

Clarke kept walking, but replied, "It was Murphy's idea, really."

Bellamy gave a half chuckle, "Remind me to thank Murphy."

Sharp blue eyes spun around to face him for a second, too fast for him to see their expression, before turning back to the path. 

They walked for awhile, slowly, more meandering than anything else, waiting and watching for Alana to appear.  Bellamy had to shake his head several times to get his mind from traveling back to that unexpected moment against the tree.  Whether or not it happened for pretense, it felt damn real.  Not like an act, more like one of the realest moments he could remember having.  And he damn well knew she had felt the same.  He'd seen her lie....she wasn't _that_ good.  His thoughts drifted from one thing to another, and perhaps it was that intimate moment that gave him the confidence, but before long, he heard himself speaking. 

"Can I ask you something, Clarke," he said, his voice relaxed. 

"Mmhmm," Clarke mumbled, only half paying attention to him as her eyes scanned the woods. 

"Were you ever going to tell me about the radio calls?" 

Clarke stopped, turning to him, her expression, confused and maybe even nervous. 

"How did you?....Madi," she answered her own question, connecting the dots, "Of course, Madi." 

Bellamy shrugged, "She thought it was something I should know," he told her, "You apparently did not."

Clarke sighed, turning herself back to the forest, her shoulders set too straight. 

"Well there really isn't anything more to say than what Madi's probably already told you," she replied, her voice stiff. 

Bellamy frowned, unsatisfied.

"Everyday though?  Really?" he did not want to make her uncomfortable, but he also wanted a better answer than the evasive one she gave.  He could see Clarke clenching and unclenching her fists. 

"Well, Bellamy, I guess we both found something to occupy ourselves with those six years," she replied coldly. 

Bellamy stopped, feeling as though he'd been slapped.  He knew exactly what- or who- she was eluding to.  And it hurt.  

 

"I thought you were dead," he called out after her, his voice louder and harsher than necessary.  

His words stopped Clarke, but she kept her back to him.  Bellamy marched up behind her, grabbing her wrist and spinning her around to face him. 

"I looked out the window of the ring, watching the world burn, thinking- _knowing_ \- you had burned with it," he spoke to her, half anger, half agony, remembering too much of that day, "If I had thought for a second, for one second, Clarke, that you were still alive...." he stopped himself from saying the words, swallowing them instead and continuing, "....it would have been different." 

Clarke dropped her eyes, not letting him see their expression.  She pulled out of his grasp, shaking her head.

"Look, it doesn't matter now.  Let's just get on-"

"Do you think it was easy for me?" He cut her off, frustration and pain getting the better of him.  Old wounds beginning to split open,"Do you think it was easy, to leave you there? To mourn your death when I was the one who left you to die!?"

Clarke looked at him then, almost confused by his outburst. 

"No," she replied, "No, of course not, Bellamy."

He took a step closer, unwilling to let this go, to let her think she was disposable or replaceable to him. 

"I didn't know, Clarke," he told her, "If I had known you were alive.....if I had heard your calls......but I thought I lost you."

She was quiet for a moment, making him wish she would say something, argue with him, yell and be angry with him, to rage against the cruelty of fate.  But instead, she inhaled and exhaled deeply, staring at him with her blue eyes and spoke so softly it nearly destroyed him. 

"In six years," she began, closing her eyes for a moment, "In 2,199 days, you never once answered back, Bellamy.  Five years came, and five years went, and still, you didn't come home.  I had no reason to think you were alive, that you had even made it to the ring.  I could have made a cross, and said the words, I could have let you go.  I had every reason to doubt, to give up, to mourn you.....But I couldn't let that happen, I couldn't let you die, not to me.  I was still breathing so I still had hope, I kept you alive in those radio calls, because I couldn't.." her voice cracking, "I couldn't live with anything less.  You looked down on the earth, thinking I died, and you survived.  But i couldn't survive if i looked up to the sky and thought you were dead."

If her words hadn't already broke his heart, the tears pooling in her eyes did.  They didn't do this, they didn't open themselves up like this, they didn't expose their feelings so easily.  His heart ached for the women before him, for the life they could have and should have had.  Her honesty shattered whatever was left of the wall they had built between them.  It was just them now, exposed and vulnerable.  A thought that both comforted and terrified him as he looked at Clarke. 

His voice came, deep and hoarse, "I would have died in the fire with you.  I would have lived in the Valley with you.  I would have waited, all those years....as long as it was with you." 

"Bellamy-"  she said at a whisper.  But he didn't let her finish. 

Bellamy pulled her to him, his lips crashing against hers.  Clarke gasped, shocked by his actions, before returning his kiss with equal fervor.  Her soft lips opened to him and Bellamy cupped her face with his hands, kissing her deeply, longingly.  This was not an act of lust or desire, like the one they had shared an hour ago, this was his heart, speaking to hers.  It was all the things he could not say and all the things he wished he had.

Small hands gripped at his shirt, pulling him even closer to her as Clarke angled her head to meet him better.  Their lips moved slowly, lushly, as if to memorize every second, every touch.  It felt as though they shared one breath, one sensation, one body.  He couldn't feel his legs or his hands or his head.  All he felt was her.  All he felt was their kiss.  He was sure they both had tears running down their cheeks, but he didn't care.  In that moment, all he cared about was Clarke; tasting her, feeling her, loving her.  Because that's what this was.  Love.  Love in all it's twisted, enchanting, imperfect, _consuming_ glory.  And it was unlike anything he had ever felt. 

Bellamy slowly pulled back, needing to look at her, needing to breathe.  He kept his hands on her face, bending his head to rest gently on hers.  They were both breathing hard.  Clarke's lips were red from the abuse, her cheeks tear stained.  But as her eyes found his, she gave him one of her small and elusive smiles.  It was all he needed, to know he had done the right thing.  He couldn't help his lips curling into a smile of his own before bending to kiss her again. 

The sound of gunshots in the distance, followed by muffled shouting stopped him.  They both stiffened, heads snapping to where the noise had come from, which was the same direction they had left the group. 

In an instant, they had gone from bliss to dread.  Clarke's face went white as she turned to Bellamy, her eyes wide with fear. 

"Madi," was all she said before they both turned and began running in the direction of the gunshots.  Hoping they weren't too late.

 

                                          *                                           *                                           *                                        *

"Raven, if we don't hurry-"

"I'm almost there," Raven interrupted Shaw as he sat beside her, his eyes on the door.  Her eyes darted across the screen, combing through information. 

They had found a small, unused office in one of the city council's building.  They'd been lucky, no one having stopped them on their way, or looked at them with suspicion while they walked the halls, trying to find a computer they could use.  That was an hour ago though, and Shaw was right, their luck was bound to end soon.

Raven typed furiously on the keyboard, making her way through the code on the screen.  Then suddenly, she stopped.  Causing Shaw to whip his head back to her. 

"I found it," she whispered, as if surprised by her success.  But there it was.  The make and model number of a single cryo chamber, connected to the power grid, within the very building they sat in. 

"You sure?" Shaw asked, as he stared at the screen, trying to make sense of it. 

"I'm always sure," she barked back at him. She went back to typing, looking to see if she could find anymore concrete information.  When it was installed, did it have a record of use, could she turn it off from here. 

"Okay, if you've found it, then we need to get the hell out of here, Raven," Shaw told her, moving to stand.  He put a supportive hand on her shoulder. 

Raven sighed, "Alright, fine," she conceded, moving to exit the program she was in.  Before she could though, a file blinked on the screen.  Raven would not have given it a second glance, but the file name itself, blinking bright on the screen, read 'Polaris.'

"Wait," she said, a terrible mix of curiosity and anxiety twisting in her stomach. 

"Raven-" Shaw began to object, but she ignored him, clicking on the file to open it. 

A video screen appeared. Raven didn't hesitate to press play. 

Raven stopped breathing as a hauntingly familiar face came up on the screen.  The black hair, brown eyed woman wore an orange jumpsuit.  An embroidered patch on her chest read the word, 'Commander.'

The ghost on the computer began to speak. 

"My dear, Alana......."

Raven's eyed went wide,

"Oh, fuck."

 

                                           *                                            *                                                    *                                               *

 

Bellamy and Clarke crashed through the forest, uncaring about how loud or destructive they were.  Bellamy was panting, trying to keep up with Clarke as she surged ahead, fueled by fear.  Their people knew they weren't actually hunting anything.  There was no reason, no _good_ reason why they would have fired their guns.  Unless it wasn't them who fired. 

Finally they broke through the tree line, returning to the trail they had used before. 

But it was not how they left it.  The scene they had ran into, caused both of them to stop suddenly.  

The two Asec guards lay on the ground, not moving and blood pooling beneath them.  Their friends grouped together as their captors held them at gunpoint.  All except one. 

"Good to see you again, Bellamy, Clarke," Alanna's smooth and arrogant voice came from the front of the group. Her arm wrapped around Madi's shoulders, a pistol in her other hand, now pointing at the two of them.  

"Madi!" Clarke yelled in terror.  Bellamy grabbed her, holding her tight against him before she could run after the girl and get herself shot. 

"Clarke, don't!" Madi called out, shaking her head violently. 

"What the hell are you doing, Alana!?" Bellamy spoke this time, his voice echoing off of the trees. 

"What I have to," she said, her voice cold and unfeeling. 

"Please," Clarke begged, "Please, just let her go." 

"I'm sorry, Clarke," Alana replied, looking over the young girl she held, "But Madi and I have some things we need to discuss." 

"What things?" Bellamy growled, "Why are you doing this?!" 

Alana's sharp eyes narrowed on them, "Because I need answers too, Bellamy," she told him, "Like, why does this _child_ have my friends memories."  She gave Madi a small shake, as if the answers would fall out. 

"Your _friend_?" Clarke asked, her voice shaking.  Bellamy's mind swirled in confusion. 

Alana gave a small chuckle, "You don't really think Julius was the only one with a cryo chamber, do you?" 

Good lord.  She was a member of Eligius 3.  An _original_ member.  Just like Julius.

"It was you," Jordan's voice came out from the group, surprising Alana and Bellamy, "You're the one who shot at Clarke and I, the one that almost got us killed!"

"Look who's starting to piece it all together," Alana replied, her voice sour and arrogant, "We needed answers, and leverage.  You lot gave us a golden opportunity to get them.  I guess I should be thanking you for that."

"What does any of this have to do with Madi.  Just let her go!" Clarke cried out, pushing against Bellamy's hold on her. 

"Becca was my friend," Alana continued, " _I_ helped her engineer the serum used for Eligius, and when the world ended, she's the one who sent us a message, explaining how it happened, and what she planned on doing about it.  I never found out what happened to her," Alana said, tightening her grip on Madi, "But I overhead Clarke and this one talking.  _You_ know what happened after she left Polaris.  I'm sure I'll find someway to convince you to share that information." 

Madi's eyes widened, and Bellamy's blood burned with anger at the woman holding her captive. 

"But in the meantime," Alana said, cocking her gun back, a gun which still pointed at them, "The rest of you will return to Asec with a message." 

"Not without Madi," Clarke said, shaking her head. 

Alana tilted her head in mock sympathy, "I'm sorry dear, that's not up for debate.  She stays with me until you deliver my message.  But not to worry, nothing will happen to her.....unless of course you fail." 

"Just tell us the damn message!" Murphy barked, his anger getting the best of him. 

Alana pursed her lips, "You will tell Julius that I want to meet with him.  Tomorrow night, no guards or guns.  He'll know where." 

"That's it?" Bellamy asked, so confused with what all was happening he didn't even know where to start. 

Alana smiled, "That's it.  You do that, and I'll let this one go." 

"Let me stay with her, at least!"  Clarke reached for her child. 

Alana turned the gun to Madi, stopping Clarke in an instant.

"I think you'll be better motivated if I keep you two separated," Alana told her.  She looked to the other exiles, giving them a nod.  They backed away slowly from his friends, guns still aimed at them as they faded into the forest. 

"See you soon, I'm sure," Alana called out before disappearing into the dark green wilderness. 

 

The exiles left them in the stillness of the forest, too shocked to move or speak.  The only sound, Clarke crying out for her daughter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end of this story now y'all! Let me know what you think and how you reacted to this chapter! Next one won't be as long of a wait, i promise!

**Author's Note:**

> Mistakes are all mine! And please, if you see a plot hole, kindly look away, I am just trying to do what I can with what I've been given! lol. Hope you guys enjoyed it!! Let me know what you liked, what you didn't like, what you picture for this new world. Happy reading lovelies!


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